When I shut the door, the fridge’s light was replaced by the moonlight. It fell over his face and gave him a shadowed, mysterious look. Anyone else would’ve shuddered in scared anticipation. I just shuddered because it was cold.
“What?” I asked. Kellan had something to say, I could tell. I didn’t have the patience to play his games.
“Where were you?” he asked, his voice low and gruff, almost raw.
“I had things to do. What are you talking about? I told you that.” I wanted him to leave it alone. I didn’t want to tell him about the painting, not after so many years of secrecy.
“No, you didn’t tell me anything. And I knew you didn’t want me to ask, just like you never want me to ask.” Kellan moved forward and leaned against the fridge. I knew he didn’t intend it, but his stance seemed predatory.
“I saw Leah leaving the pizza place tonight. You sure you want to miss out on that?” I asked nervously. I downed the rest of the orange juice, and when I turned toward the sink, Kellan grabbed my arm and hauled me back.
“What?” I asked. Kellan had never been intentionally rough with me. I’d never seen it, but I knew he had it in him. In fact, something told me that he had a lot in him that I wouldn’t want to know.
His fingers tightened on my arm. “What were you doing tonight?”
I looked at his hand, almost distantly, though I felt the pain intimately. “Don’t ask me that.”
“Why? Are you going to tell me the truth?”
I looked up and met his gaze. His eyes were a piercing blue, so beautiful to look at, but I swallowed and steadied myself. “I would lie. And I don’t want to lie to you.”
Kellan didn’t remove his hand, but he used it to draw me closer. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t…” I looked in Kellan’s eyes. He wasn’t looking for some weak truth. He was looking for something deep, infinite, something that would hold true no matter what trials endured. So I lied for the first time, “I went to see Matt Rettley.”
“Why?” Kellan hadn’t bought my lie. His hand didn’t tighten or relax either.
I glanced at his hold on my arm. His fingers were strong, too strong, but we both knew he couldn’t hurt me. Slowly, almost gently, I slid a finger underneath one of his and yanked it backward. Kellan held his breath, but let me hold his finger at bay. He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. They seemed to sparkle in the moonlight.
“Why, Shay?” Kellan demanded with a rough edge in his voice.
A shudder went down my spine, but I tightened my hold on his finger. “I wanted to make sure he wouldn’t say anything. I wouldn’t want my brother getting in trouble for me.”
“You don’t want me to get hurt?” A ghost of a smile flashed over his face.
I smiled, and then I yanked his finger the rest of the way until the bone snapped. Kellan didn’t move, not an inch. When it was done, after a moment of silence, he rasped, “Are you going to break the rest of my fingers?” He still had his hold on my arm, but his fingers had loosened their grip. I shrugged off his hand and stepped back.
A chill slammed into me, and I hugged myself to ward it off.
Kellan watched. He didn’t say a thing.
Softly, I murmured, “I just lied to you.” I didn’t know what compelled me. Maybe it was that I’d broken his finger, I’d hurt him back. Or maybe it was because I’d lied for the first time and I needed to expunge myself. I wasn’t sure.
But I saw that Kellan already knew I’d lied.
I added, “I didn’t go to see Matt Rettley, but I’m not going to tell you where I was. That’s for me. And don’t put your hands on me again.” As I turned and headed upstairs to my room, I couldn’t shake off a sense of dread. Something had happened, something that felt off, between Kellan and me.
I hadn’t left him with the knowledge that I could and would hurt him, if need be. No. Kellan had left me with the knowledge that he allowed me to hurt him. He stood there and just let me do it. But…why?
I shook my head as too many chills washed over me. Kellan had always been my protector. He’d been beside me all my life. He would’ve been the big brother that any little sister would idolize, but the problem is that those girls didn’t know who their big brothers really were, or what they were capable of.
Kellan was a lot of things, but I needed to reassure myself that he’d always protect me. That was my bottom line… I couldn’t be concerned about it, not anymore. When I pushed through my bedroom door, I sagged in relief.
Within my four walls was my sanctuary. It was mine and mine alone. No Kellan. No Rettley. No Mrs. Ullen. No one. Just me.
The door burst open, and Giuseppa threw herself onto my bed.
Guess my sanctuary was easily penetrable.
I turned from my desk and sighed. “Can you leave? Please? I’m asking nicely.”
Giuseppa laughed, her blue eyes sparkled in evil mirth, and her smile widened as she threw out her arms to stretch on my bed. Her long golden curls became entangled around her arms and within my white laced bedcover, which starkly contrasted underneath the black bikini top and bottom she wore. Nothing else.
“Aren’t you cold?”
“I’m drunk, Shay. You should try it.” She giggled and hiccupped. “Oh. Oops.”
“Go to bed, Gus. Your own bed. Please.” I slumped down in my desk chair. The wood creaked, protesting, underneath my weight. I groaned. The chair would have to deal with it. I was dealing with my drunken, scantily-clad sister. As I bent forward to open my bag, I muttered, “You’re not passing out in my room. You snore, for one. And two, you want Kellan to wake you in the morning? You want to go running for me? I’m all for that.”