Sorry I didn’t message you back last night, Eva showed up and ended up staying over.
Eva as in Madeline’s mom, his ex-wife?
She left her boyfriend and is in the city, planning to stay with a friend of hers that lives here.
She wants to see Maddi tonight, so we’ll have to make plans for later this week.
I’m sorry, baby, I’ll call you this afternoon when I get a chance.
“What’s going on?” Abby’s voice pulls my attention away from my phone.
I try to mask my emotions so she won’t read how upset I am. Lucas has never given me a reason not to trust him, but Tom never gave me a reason not to trust him, either. I know that Lucas is not Tom, but I also know that it would cut me deeply if something like that ever happened between us. As much as I thought I loved Tom, I’m realizing now that I might have just latched on to him because it was comfortable.
“It’s nothing.” I shrug and tuck my cell back into my bag without sending a reply to Lucas.
“Your face is saying something else.”
Thankfully, the waiter comes over to ask for our drink orders, giving me a few minutes to get my emotions under control. When he leaves, I study the menu like whatever I select will be cooked for us tableside by Gordon Ramsay himself.
“Okay, seriously. What’s going on?” Abby demands.
Apparently, I should never, ever play poker.
“Lucas’s ex-wife broke up with her man and stayed with Lucas and Maddi last night. She is also having dinner with Lucas and Maddi tonight. She’s moving back to the city and is going to be staying with a friend of hers.”
I bite my lip when I finish speaking, wishing I had a glass of wine to wash down the bitterness in my throat.
“Wait. What?” Abby’s eyes grow concerned.
I lean back against the leather booth. “Like I said. Lucas’s ex is in the city, and Lucas and Maddi are having dinner with her tonight.”
“What the actual fuck?” she whispers.
I’m glad she’s using her “inside voice,” because the restaurant is really nice and they would probably frown upon her using that language in here.
Not having an immediate response, I shrug. I look toward the bar and mutter, “Is it too early to start drinking?”
“Babe,” Abby calls to get my attention. My eyes move from the bar to her. “Please don’t worry about this.”
“I’m not.” The lie tastes bitter as it leaves my mouth. “She’s Maddi’s mom. I’m glad she wants to spend time with her daughter,” I lie again.
Eva and Lucas have history. They have a daughter together. They are connected. They will always be connected because of Maddi. If I’m honest, I’m jealous—and a little worried.
What if she wants him back? What if he’s willing to try to work things out because of Maddi?
Shaking her head, Abby sighs, looks across the room, and lifts her chin. A moment later the waiter appears. When he asks what she needs, she orders us a bottle of wine. We drink a lot—so much that I’m drunk by the time lunch is over. I don’t go back to the office. Instead, Abby gets us a cab and takes me home before walking Merida. I don’t remember much besides getting into bed and falling asleep with Abby running her fingers through my hair and telling me everything will be all right.
My head is pounding when I wake up. It takes me a minute to realize that the pounding is only getting worse—because there is a loud banging coming from my front door. I get out of bed and head across my apartment. When I open the door, my stomach turns with nausea.
“What the fuck?” Lucas barks, pushing his way past me and slamming the door closed. Merida barks once, then twice, but stops when his head swings to her. He pins her with a look that says, “Stop,” so she does. And sits.
“Lucas?” I look from him to the door.
“Yeah, Lucas. The guy you’re seeing? The one who’s been calling you all fucking day and is worried sick because you haven’t answered or returned any of his messages? Glad to know you remember me.”
“I . . .”
“What the fuck?” he questions again before I can get a word in edgewise.
“I . . . I fell asleep.” I leave out the part about drinking in an attempt to get the thought of him and his ex sleeping under the same roof and having dinner together out of my head.
“It’s not even six. Are you sick?”
“No . . .” I shake my head, then ask, “Where’s Maddi?”
“With my brother and his wife. I’ve been worried about you, so I asked them to keep an eye on her while I came to see if you were okay.”
“What?”
“Did you miss the part where I said I’ve been calling you all day, and you haven’t called me back or replied to any of my messages?”
“I . . .” I wrap my arms around my waist. “Well, I know you’re having dinner with Eva and Maddi tonight. I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“Disturb me?” His eyes narrow.
“Yeah,” I whisper.
Suddenly his expression changes, and his features soften along with his voice as he says, “Talk to me.”
“What?”
I take a step back without thinking, then stop myself before I take another. I don’t want to tell him that in my mind he and his ex are going to work things out and I will be left alone again.
“Talk about what?” I play dumb.
“Are you worried about me having dinner with Eva?”
God, even thinking about him and her in the same room makes me want to be sick, but I can’t let him know that.
“No,” I lie once more.
“Good. You shouldn’t be. She and I are done. We were done probably before we even started, baby.” He takes a step toward me but stops before he’s within touching distance. “She stayed last night because she couldn’t get ahold of her friend. The only reason I agreed to dinner is because Maddi hasn’t been around Eva much, and I don’t want her freaked out now that her mother has moved back to the city.”
I close my eyes and drop my head forward.
Of course he would want to make sure that Maddi is okay. Of course he would insist on seeing to that himself.
“I’m an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot. I don’t think I’d be any happier about the idea of you spending time with your ex-husband.”
I lift my head and look into his eyes.
“Is that why you haven’t answered my calls?”
“I had a drink at lunch.”
He raises a brow.
“Abby and I shared a bottle of wine. Well, Abby had one glass from the bottle, I had the rest. When you didn’t text me back this morning, and then when I saw your message . . .” My words taper off.
“You were worried?”
“Yes. I know, it’s stupid.”
“It’s not stupid, but I’m not your ex, baby. I wouldn’t cheat on you. I understand that it’s going to take some time for you to realize that, but I need you to try to trust me.”
“I’m trying,” I say quietly. “I just . . . Well, I just like you a lot, and it scares me. What Tom did hurt, but with you I—”
My words end on a gasp, because the next thing I know I’m in his arms and his mouth is crushed against mine for a hard, possessive kiss.
“I won’t ever do that to you,” he states when he pulls his mouth from mine. He keeps his face so close that he’s all I can see. “He’s a coward. He should have ended things with you. He should have been a man and told you that he wanted something different before he stepped out on you.” His hold on me tightens. “I don’t know where we are going, but I do know that I would never hurt you like that. I would never step out on you the way he did.”
“I believe you,” I say, looking into his eyes. “I’m sorry about not answering your calls or messaging you back.”
“I want to say it’s okay, but it’s not. I’ve been a mess all day, worried about you.”
He’s been a mess, worried about me?
My body melts deeper into his. He says, “I’ve never felt this way before.” His hand wraps around the side of my neck, then his fingers slide up into my hair. “I didn’t like not being able to reach you. The idea of—” He shakes his head, cutting off his own words. “Just, from now on, if you have concerns or worries, promise you’ll talk to me before you cut me out?”