“I know.”
I had to erase Evey’s memory of me. We didn’t like to do that often because occasionally it caused forgetfulness—a response to the energy we forced into the brain. We did it by pressing a thumb to the forehead and funneling the electrical currents in our body out through the fingers. If you did it right, you could go on unseen, and your soul would just pick up where they’d left off.
“You should do it soon—before she starts talking. They’ll have her committed.”
“I will, first thing after we go back.”
Angels had gifts. Obviously we could use other physical bodies, we had invisible wings, and we were generally more efficient beings. Our hearts were faster, we could eat and drink more, and though we were ageless, we weren’t immortal. We weren’t susceptible to diseases or age-related illnesses, but we could still die by getting hit by a truck. At the instant of our death, we’d just disintegrate into nothing and immediately be forgotten. What a legacy.
One thing about my job that had been bugging me for a century at least was that we were kept in the dark from all the higher-ups. We had been created and predisposed to protect our souls, but the rules, especially Zack’s long list of rules, came from hearsay. Mona acted as a lawyer in a way. She would interpret information from the higher-ups then try to apply it to our situations, but I didn’t think she could prove that me being in love with Evey was impossible.
I didn’t know what was happening to me. I had heard stories of angels falling in love with their souls, but I’d never heard about what had eventually happened to them.
“Remember Connie? That one that fell in love with the musician?”
“Yeah, I remember,” I said.
“It wasn’t that long ago,” Zack added.
We had all heard this story about an angel in Memphis who had fallen in love with her assigned soul, but the guy died. That was the end of it.
“He’s one of us now.”
“What?”
“Yeah, in New York. Connie took him out herself.”
“What? Why? How?”
“So they could be together.”
“I’m confused.”
He turned his body toward me. “I know how to fix your situation with Evey. If I tell you, will you teach me that trick?”
Zack had been hassling me about the same stupid trick for a hundred years. Literally… a hundred years.
“I’ll try, but it takes a pretty strong set to pull it off.” I glanced at his pathetic wings, all dry, brownish-red, and sparse-feathered.
“I can do it,” he said.
“Fine.” I stood. “Let’s get a bottle first.”
He rolled his eyes. We headed back to Evey’s street while we downed a bottle of Glenfiddich. We still had about an hour left.
“Okay, show me the trick now,” Zack said once we were in front of Evey’s building.
He wanted to know how to do a three-sixty loop. You fly fast up and flip back around, but it’s really only cool if you have grace. Zack could barely fly straight. But I’d said I would teach him.
“Tell me your secret first.” We flew up to sit outside of Evey’s window and finish the bottle. I was sauced again for the third time in less than twenty-four hours.
“You have to kill her.”
“Excuse me, what?”
“That’s what happened to Connie and Jeff. She drowned him in the Mississippi, and he happily went along with it just to be with her. Now that is a love story, man. I guess they’re angels in New York City on the same block.”
I shook my head. “It’s a myth. It has to be.”
“No, seriously, that’s how we’re made. We were all human once, then we got killed. Some of us come here, some go to other places, but we all get jobs in a way. They got lucky that they ended up in the same place. But it’s true—we were all human and we all definitely got axed before our time. I know that for sure.” He made a slicing motion across his neck.
“I don’t believe you. I think I have to kill myself to be with her.”
“Nah… you got that from a movie. You can’t be with Evey now, the way you are. You’ll start dying, really slow and painful. Like each time you get with her, you’ll die a little, and then all of the sudden, lights out. When we die, that’s it, man. Poof! We’re gone. You’ve seen it?”
I had seen it. I once saw an angel get shot. It’s as if we disintegrate into a powdery dust and that’s it. Any humans who witness it, instantly forget that we even existed. It’s really depressing.
“Why would I die from being with Evey? Wouldn’t I just get banished?”
He looked thoughtful for once. He pitied me. “I don’t know. It’s just what I heard, okay? I’m not totally sure. You should talk to Mona.” He shrugged. “I could be wrong.”
I was staring through the window, wondering how I would ever be able to kill Evey. Even if what Zack said was true, how would Evey know she truly wanted to be with me when I was basically made for her comfort? It wouldn’t be fair to her.
“Isn’t it kind of weird that you want her when you’ve been watching over her since she was a baby?”
“What are you saying, dick?”
“You know what I’m saying,” he said.
“Fuck you. It’s not like that. She’s beautiful and amazing and kind. I trust her implicitly.” I drank the rest of the bottle in three large gulps. “There’s no one like her. And she’s an adult.”