Home > Lucian Divine(8)

Lucian Divine(8)
Author: Renee Carlino

“Tell me, I’m dying to know.”

“Are you really dying, Evey? I’m very literal.” I shook my head. “I know you’re being sarcastic, so I’ll keep my career woes to myself, thank you very much.”

Her expression softened. “I’m actually curious to hear what you’ll come up with.”

“It wasn’t even my fault. One of my souls—Joan.” I sucked air in through my teeth. “It didn’t end so well. I had too many to handle at the time. I did fail her, but in my defense, she was an even bigger pain in the ass than you are. Now I’m on a probationary status, which makes an already boring job barely tolerable.”

“I’m totally appreciating your quick wit even though I know you’re completely full of shit. So this Joan woman, what happened?”

“It was a long time ago. She kept going over my head.” Even I was beginning to find humor in what I was telling her.

“Oh, haha! That’s hysterical. Joan of Arc, I get it. You should write this stuff down. Okay, so how long are you going to keep up the act?”

“It’s not an act, and honestly, Evey, I’m a little disappointed in you right now… in your faith and your bad choices tonight,” I said, looking pointedly at her.

“You are a strange person. I’m kinda hoping my roommate will come home soon, but you can just leave if you want. How were you wasted an hour ago—you could barely talk or walk—and now you’re sitting here making up elaborate stories? I thought you’d pass out the second you hit the couch.”

“Oh, well that’s easy to explain. My metabolism is a lot faster than yours. I can eat and drink a whole bunch.”

“Are you bragging, or are you saying you have some special angel quality that allows you to drink more alcohol?” She smirked.

“I’m not human. I don’t sleep—I can’t. I wish I could because you bore me to tears and I have to watch over you.”

“Uh huh. So you don’t sleep, but you get wasted?”

“There’s no rule about drinking and flying last time I checked, but I wouldn’t be much of a guardian angel if I slept on the job, now would I?”

“You’re a bit arrogant and completely insane, but you are definitely creative, I’ll give you that. Do your wings sprout out of your shirt when you take flight?”

“No, they’re always there. You just can’t see ’em.”

“I bet they’re big, huh?” She rolled her eyes.

“They’re huge. Did you see the size of my feet? Thirteens.” I pointed at my boots, bit my bottom lip, and wiggled my eyebrows. “All the other angels say size doesn’t matter, but wait till you see me in action.” I was still a little drunk. I was flirting with her. I was despicable.

“Great, so my guardian angel is a perverted narcissist.”

She’d left out that I was a drunk as well, which was a relief.

“Not a pervert, just stating the facts. Anyway”—I stood, took a step back, and waved my arms around—“all of you agnostics want proof, so I’ll give it to you.”

I was tired of hiding, lying, sneaking. I wanted her to know. I wanted to push the envelope and see if Mona would swoop in and banish me. The truth was that I couldn’t watch Evey anymore, not when she was dating, falling in love, hanging out with moronic apes. Mona refused to reassign me—she wouldn’t even let me plead my case, so I was done. I had been pushed too far, driven to alcoholism.

Come on, an alcoholic angel? I was a cliché. I hated myself. “I’m not gonna sit here and spew facts about every stage of your colorless, insipid, shallow life that I had to so painfully watch. I’m just not, okay? They always do that in movies, and I think, ‘Why not disappear and reappear? What’s the deal? We’re angels.’ I could turn into a fire-breathing dragon right now if I wanted to.” She suddenly looked terrified, so I held out my hand. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to scare you.”

“JUST GONNA POP out…”

He seemed to believe what he was saying. I wondered if he was an actor. And then, like an absolute dream—nope… nightmare—he clapped once and disappeared into thin fucking air.

I gasped. “Oh my God! Oh my God!” I fell to the floor and held my hand over my chest. I was having a heart attack. I was sure of it.

And then he reappeared. “And… pop back in,” he said, stumbling to the side. “Shit, I need to work on my reentry.”

“Oh God! Oh Lord,” I kept chanting.

“No, it’s Lucian. Why is everyone so obsessed with that guy?” He looked at me steadily, and then I think he saw the terror in my eyes, finally. “Shit.”

Lucian turned into Mrs. Obernickle, my preschool teacher. “Now, dear, don’t be scared.”

“This is not happening, this is not real. I’ve been drugged. I’m dreaming. Did you drug me so you could kill me?” I said to Mrs. Obernickle as I stood on shaky legs.

“Oh no, of course not, dear.”

As horrifying as the situation was, I found her voice and smell comforting. Still, my heart was beating out of my chest. I looked into her crystal-blue eyes, and I saw him. I whispered, “Lucian?”

He turned back into himself. “You rang?”

I just continued to blink at him until tears flooded my eyes. His expression softened; he braced my shoulders. I was scared at first, and then warmth rushed through my body. My knees buckled, and he swooped me off my feet as if I were as light as a feather. The warm feeling was familiar. He had done that to me before; I just hadn’t known it at the time.

   
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