Home > Lucian Divine(9)

Lucian Divine(9)
Author: Renee Carlino

I remembered once, when my mother forgot to pick me up at school, I had waited in the dark. I was terrified and cold. I started to cry, then that now-familiar warmth filled me. I remembered it because it was strange. When my mom had finally arrived, I told her I thought I had a fever. Lucian holding me in my apartment was a fever dream—it had to be—but I was starting to believe he had been there with me whenever I felt scared or alone.

I felt warm and safe as he carried me effortlessly over to the couch. Without words, he set me down, walked to the kitchen, and returned a moment later with chamomile tea.

“I put honey in it… the way you like it.” He smiled, seeming unsure as he handed it over. Then he stood back, took a deep breath, and ran his hand through his longish dark hair.

“Thank you,” I said.

“I’m really sorry about that. I just felt so free after telling you, I didn’t think about how it would make you feel.”

He lifted my legs, sat down and then pulled them up on his lap. He rested his head on the back of the couch and rubbed my shins in soft strokes. Warmth coursed through me the moment he and I made contact. I felt like I was in a bathtub. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

After twenty minutes of silence, I felt completely relaxed.

“More tea?” he asked.

I sat up. “Actually I think I want another drink.”

“It’s late.” Something had changed in him. He seemed resigned, but I felt absolutely at ease, even though my brain was still processing the impossible events that had occurred in front of my eyes moments earlier.

“Do you want a little red wine?” he asked.

“Mmhmm, but I don’t think I have any.”

He took his glass of water and handed it to me. The moment it was in my hand, the water became wine.

“I bet you have a lot more questions?” he said.

“Well, it’s not every day…”

“Fire away.”

“So you’ve been watching over me my entire life?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

My eyes shot open. “So you’ve seen me…”

“Oh no, I don’t spy on you. I’ve never seen you naked. Except that one time.” He shook his head. “Never mind.”

“Were you Mrs. Obernickle?”

“Not all the time. Only when you cried at school… to comfort you. For a preschool teacher, she was kind of a cold bitch. God her perfume made me nauseous… still does.” He made a weird gagging sound and shook his head. I smiled, and he smiled back. “I liked it better when you were making fun of me and didn’t believe a word I said. I’m sorry I scared you, Evey.”

“Who else have you been in my life?”

“Um, the old guy you played chess with in the park.”

“Charlie? You were Charlie?”

“Only once you started getting good. He wasn’t challenging you anymore.”

“Ha! So where did you come from? Do you float around? Do you live somewhere?”

“I basically just follow you around. Sometimes when I know you’re all right, I take off and do my own thing.” His demeanor was sweet, almost shy now. “I followed you home earlier and saw you looking out the window. I thought you were going to bed, but then you showed up at the bar again.”

“So why didn’t I see you outside?”

He seemed to be pondering what he should tell me. “Did you see the woman walking a little white dog?”

“That was you?”

“Yeah. I’m whoever, whenever I need to be. I got lazy at the bar when you were with that guy. Honestly, Evelyn, that guy?” He scowled. “You were all swept up in him, so I didn’t go to great lengths to disguise myself. Not that it would have mattered.” His tone was strangely bitter. “We’re not supposed to reveal what we really look like to our souls.”

“Why?”

“Because we’re just not. It’s hard to explain.”

“Try me.”

“Do you know what transference is? Like with patients and doctors?”

“I think I do. So you think that I’d fall in love with you or something because your job is to protect me?” It wouldn’t be hard. He smelled delicious, looked incredibly sexy, and his touch was spellbinding.

“I’m created to make you feel comfortable. You must sense that?”

I nodded. “But if you didn’t feel the same way…”

“We don’t.” He went rigid. “We’re not made to fall in love.”

I glanced at his jeans. He followed my eyes.

“I have average parts,” he said quickly, and then his arrogant smile reappeared. “Although I wouldn’t actually call mine average, but yes, I have man parts. We can date each other—angels can date each other—but our jobs are too demanding for a serious commitment.”

It all sounded so logistical and practical, and honestly, quite comical.

I started feeling dizzy. “Is this really happening?”

He moved quickly and gracefully. “Lie down.” He pulled me on top of him. My head was on his shoulder, and he was stroking my hair. He lowered his voice to a warm rumble in his chest. “When you struggle, I come through people in your life. Sometimes when you’re alone, I’m here too. I’ve done this a million times, but I couldn’t let you feel my physical body.”

Shame. I felt warm and calm in his arms. “Do all angels look like you?”

   
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