Except it did matter, or it would have, if she dared try it.
Just friends, she reminded herself. They were only friends, and would only be friends from here on out. It was a friendship that was to be cherished, as she cherished all the friendships she’d made aboard this ship. She wouldn’t ruin it by wishing things could be more. She would be grateful for what affection she did have.
Cress let out a slow breath and stood straighter. It wouldn’t be so hard, pretending this was all she wanted. Imagining she was satisfied with his companionship and platonic fondness. Now that he could see again, she would be extra vigilant in making sure any of her deeper feelings didn’t show through.
Thorne was her friend and her captain, and nothing more.
When she returned to the cargo bay, the lightheartedness had dissipated. Hearing her, Thorne glanced over his shoulder, but she fixed her eyes resolutely on Kai.
“I understand this is sooner than we’d expected,” Kai was saying, “but now that Thorne can finally see again, what are we waiting for? We can leave tomorrow. We could leave now.”
Cinder shook her head. “There’s so much to do. We still have the video to edit, and we haven’t confirmed which route we’re going to take to the outer sectors, and—”
“All things you don’t need my help for,” interrupted Kai. “All things you can be working on while I’m doing my part. People are dying every day. My people are being attacked at this very moment, and I can’t do anything for them up here.”
“I know. I know it’s hard—”
“No, it’s torture.” Kai lowered his voice. “But once you take me back, I can talk to Levana. Negotiate a new cease-fire and start putting our plan into motion—”
“Get to Scarlet sooner,” said Wolf.
Cinder groaned. “Look, I get it. It’s been a really long month and we’re all anxious to move forward, it’s just … our strategy—”
“Strategy? Look at us—we’re spending our time unpacking pickled asparagus.” Kai shoved a hand through his hair. “How is this a good use of our time?”
“Every day we wait, our chances of success get better. Every day, more of her army is heading to Earth, leaving Levana and the capital unprotected. The weaker she is, the better chance we have of this revolution succeeding.” She pointed at the netscreen, even though it was turned off. “Plus, the Union has been fighting back. She’s lost a lot of soldiers already and maybe she’s beginning to feel a little concerned?”
“She’s not concerned,” said Wolf.
Cinder frowned. “Well, at least she may have realized this war won’t be won as easily as she’d hoped, which means she’ll be that much more thrilled to hear Kai has returned and the wedding is back on. She’ll be eager to reschedule it right away.” She looped her fingers around her left wrist, where skin met metal.
Cress bit her lip, watching the fear and nerves flash across Cinder’s face. Though she always did her best to hide it, Cress knew Cinder wasn’t always as brave as she pretended. It was sort of comforting to think they might have this in common.
Kai’s shoulders dropped and his voice lost its desperation when he took a step closer to her. “I understand you want to feel like you’re ready—like we’re all ready. But, Cinder … we’re never going to feel that way. At some point, we have to stop planning and start doing. I think that time is now.”
It took her a moment, but she finally met his gaze, then shifted to look at each of them in turn. Though Thorne was their captain, they all knew Cinder was the one that held them together.
“We’re all risking our lives,” she said. “I just don’t want to risk them unnecessarily. I want to make sure we’re prepared to—” She froze, her eyes unfocusing. Cress recognized the look from when Cinder was seeing something on her retina display.
Blinking rapidly, Cinder turned back to Kai, stunned. “Ship, turn on cargo bay netscreen, Commonwealth newsfeed.”
Kai frowned. “What’s going on?”
The netscreen flickered to life. It showed Kai’s chief adviser—Konn Torin—standing at a podium. Before the audio signal could connect, though, Cinder said, “I’m so sorry, Kai. Your palace is under attack.”
Ten
They watched the newsfeed in silence, the cameras trembling as android-manned hovers circled the palace below. Many of the gardens were smoking from fires set by the queen’s soldiers, statues toppled and the massive gate torn to shreds, but the palace itself remained untouched. So far the single regiment of the Commonwealth’s military stationed at the palace had kept the enemy at bay while they waited for reinforcements to arrive.
The siege on New Beijing Palace went against the strategies the wolf soldiers had been using throughout the war. They had become infamous for their guerilla attacks and scare tactics, as concerned with making the people of Earth terrified of them as they were with winning actual battles. To date, there had been no real battles at all—only skirmishes and surprise attacks, resulting in too much bloodshed and too many nightmares.
The wolf soldiers moved in packs, stealthy and quick. They caused havoc and destruction wherever they went, then disappeared before the Earthen military could catch up to them. There was speculation that they were moving through the sewers or disappearing into the wilderness, leaving a trail of blood and severed limbs in their wake. They were fond of leaving at least one witness alive in the aftermath to report on their brutality.