She squeezed his hands. “Jax, look at me.”
He opened his eyes, and she immediately knew why he’d been hiding. The color there was such a light and unnatural green, they were almost painful to look at.
She frowned, dragged his hand to her lips, and pressed a kiss onto his knuckles. “You have nothing to be afraid of with me.”
“You’re wrong,” he said low, shaking his head as he eased back and stood straight and tall again. “You’re so wrong, Anna.”
“She-Devil is not a threat to Titan.”
He huffed a humorless laugh and let his fingers fall from hers, then strode inside the house. As she shut the door, he made his way through the small living room. He brushed his fingers against the back of the couch as he passed and then picked up the trinkets she’d placed on the mantle of the small fire place.
“Presents from Samuel, my brother,” she explained as he held up the snow globe with the fish in the middle. “He travels, and he picks me up snow globes from the airports when he’s away. He’s done it since he was twenty-one. I don’t know why, but now it’s tradition. It’s silly, but I love them.”
“You’re close to your brother?” he asked, as he made his way into the kitchen.
“Very close. We’re only two years apart. He’s the only one in my real life who knows about the panther. He built the cage I slept in, and shifted in.” It hurt to think about the cage, so she did a hard right turn and changed the subject. “I heard you have a brother, too.”
“Twin brother. We’re close, but half the time I love him, and half the time our bears are brawling.” He chuckled and had a faraway look in his eyes. “Our human sides have always gotten along. Our bears have not.”
Annalise locked her arms against the back of the couch and grinned. “And you’re a Gray Back,” she said, testing what he would let her talk about. “You both were born little monsters, right?”
Jaxon ghosted her a quick grin. “You’ve been talking to the panthers about me, huh?”
“I got in trouble for not researching enough,” she said cheerily. “I learn quick.”
“Mmm,” he hummed as he sat up on the counter and jerked his chin in a come-hither gesture that made the butterflies in her stomach get to flapping again. Jaxon Barns was sexy, and he knew it.
As she approached and then settled between his legs, she rested her hands on his thighs. Jaxon brushed her hair off her shoulders. “The panthers don’t understand the dynamics of other crews. That’s because they keep to themselves. It’s instinct for them. Maybe for She-Devil, too. But for me, growing up with the Gray Backs was normal. Violence was normal. We would cuss and brawl and bleed, and then we would have a beer and go about our lives until the next time we needed to fight.”
“Needed to?”
“Yeah.” He shrugged. “Fighting feels good, and relieves tension.”
“And Gray Backs…they just get along after fights?”
“Sometimes. Sometimes one of us will be mad for a week, but we all got over it. We had to.”
“Why?”
“Because we were crew. It’ll be the same here. You won’t always get along. It’s not a perfect or easy life, Anna.” He cocked a dark eyebrow. “It was sexy as fuck watching you go after Ben on my behalf yesterday. And when you turned on Barret? I get hard every time I think about it. You’re a fierce little kitty.”
“I thought you weren’t into shifter girls.”
Jaxon scratched under his chin, at the line of his dark beard, and narrowed his eyes. “Pass. I know you’re wanting to know, but I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Would you rather me be human?” she pushed.
“Yes,” he said without hesitation.
It hurt. It was like the end of a whip against cold skin. It stole her breath. She wished she was human too, but hearing Jaxon assuredly say she wasn’t right…well, it made her heart hurt in ways it hadn’t before.
“Not because of me, Anna. I wish your life was easier. I can see your future here, and it’s probably very different from what you’re used to. But I can’t be in it.”
More hurt. More ache.
“What if Ben changes his mind and lets you in the crew?”
“I’m a rogue.”
“So?”
He gathered her hair into little pigtails at the back of her neck. “You don’t understand. I’m nomadic. I didn’t pledge to a crew. I can’t. My bear doesn’t want to settle. I wander. I can’t stay in one place for more than a few days.”
“But if you tried—”
“You think I haven’t tried, Anna? I’ve warred with my bear my whole life. I hate what I am. I want a home. The most I can hope for is finding a girl who will be okay with roaming.”
“Don’t talk about other girls,” she growled, fury whipping through her. “Don’t sit here playing with my hair, looking me in the eyes, and talk about some future girl who is a better match. Fuck her. You said you’re here. Well…so am I.”
A low rumble emanated from his chest, and his eyes flashed with intensity. For an instant, she thought it was anger that had transformed his face into something wild, up until the point a slow, feral smile stretched his lips. “I like when you get possessive. It’s sexy. Makes me want to spin you around and fuck you from behind.” Her jerked his chin. “Right up against that counter over there.”