Kneeling in front of her, he gently pulled her hands down. “Stop denying what we both want. Don’t try to push me away anymore. I know now that you love me, and that’s why you let me go. You thought you were doing the right thing, and hell, at the time, you probably were. I needed to absorb what had happened. But I’m here now, and I want you more than I’ve wanted anything in my life.”
Longing filled her gaze, along with a lingering reserve. She stroked his cheek. “What if I activate the geas? What if I accidentally say something it takes as an order—or what if I actually give you an order? Go to the store, and get some milk. Pick me up a sandwich on your way home. Order a pizza for tonight, will you? People say things like that all time.”
“I don’t know. I don’t have all the answers.” Giving in to what he had been wanting to do for a long time, he pulled her into his arms. The rightness of her body aligning with his brought such relief, he sighed and laid his head on her shoulder. Her arms tightened around him. “If you activate the geas somehow, I’ll tell you to cut it out, and you’ll stop. We can’t live our lives in fear of it.”
Her breath shuddered, and she tightened her arms. “We could if you left. You could have the entire world—everywhere except for where I am.”
“I don’t want the entire world.” He pressed his lips against her neck. “I want you. I’m not going to lie to you, Sidonie. I think it will probably get messy sometimes, and I know we’ll make mistakes. Neither of us has lived a normal life, and even when people have the best of intentions, they still hurt each other. But do you know what that damn puck said to me the other day?”
She nestled against him. “What?”
“He said, ‘What would we have if we didn’t have forgiveness?’” Closing his eyes, he breathed in her scent. With her becoming a lycanthrope, it had changed. It was deeper, wilder, and it resonated with all the wild places inside him. “We can make this work. We have to make it work. I want you too much to let go, and I will do anything I have to do in order to keep you. Anything.”
“I want you too, so much,” she whispered.
He murmured in her ear, “Then take me.”
* * *
Take me, he said.
It had been so impossible. Now could it really be that simple?
Pulling back, Sid searched his face. She saw nothing but love and determination.
“That whole resurrection thing is totally on me,” she told him. “But this one is on you.”
Laughter, like fire, lit his gaze. “I’ll take full responsibility,” he promised. “You can throw this back in my face every time we have an argument.”
“I’ll plan on it.” Sudden tears flooded her eyes. Their separation was still too close and raw for her to joke very much.
He saw the tears, and his expression changed. Cupping the back of her head, he cradled her close. “Shh,” he murmured. “We’re good. It’s all good. It’s so much better than I could have hoped for.”
“I love you,” she said. “I love you.”
“I love you too, darling girl. With all my heart.” He cupped her face and kissed her softly.
Not many men could pull off “darling girl,” she thought hazily, but somehow when Morgan said it, it sounded warm, natural, and right.
He pulled back. “Hard as the past few weeks were, the time to reflect has been good for me. I’ve been thinking a lot about the orders you gave me in the great hall.”
Anxiety flooded her expression. “I screwed up, didn’t it? Did I screw it up?”
“Not in any way.” He pressed his lips to her forehead. “But the more I think about it, the more I find the way you phrased things intriguing.”
She touched the lean line of his jaw. “I was trying to set you free completely.”
“I could see that, but at the time I was too close to living under Isabeau’s control to believe it. I thought anything you said could be countermanded if you changed your mind, but the way you phrased things stuck with me. You said, I order you to rediscover what it is like to live a life of your own choosing. I order the geas to rest forever and never compel you to do anything again. These words I speak are paramount. Nothing I can possibly say at any point for the rest of my life will ever override the orders I give you right now.” He paused, his gaze lively with curiosity and speculation. “And I can’t help but wonder—you were trying to turn the geas into something written in stone, and not to be revisited. What if you managed to do it?”
She blinked. “Is it possible? I want so much for it to be possible.”
“I haven’t felt a hint of compulsion since you stopped me from leaving in the great hall,” he told her. “And if it’s one thing I know, it’s what the geas feels like when it activates. So… we’ll never know if you managed it unless we try it. Give me an order, and let’s see what happens.”
Her stomach twisted and she recoiled. “I can’t.”
“Yes, you can.” He took her by the shoulders and looked deeply into her eyes. “We need to know what we’re going to be living with so we don’t run into any surprises. And you need to listen to me when I say this—when you give me the order, anything that happens is okay.”
What he said made sense, but she still hesitated. “Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.” He smiled at her. “I’m okay. We’re okay. So go ahead and do it. Order me to do something. I want to know what’s going to happen.”
“Well, okay…” She cast about for something to order him to do, but all she really wanted was to get back to the kissing part. Feeling self-conscious and awkward, she ordered, “Kiss me.”
Amusement flashed across his face. Pulling her into his arms, he rocked her as he laughed and laughed. Then he tilted her face up and kissed her with such evident enjoyment, she didn’t know whether to be dismayed or pleased.
Winding an arm around his neck, she whispered against his mouth, “Is this bad? I can’t tell if this is bad. Did the geas make you do it?”
Lifting his head, he told her, “First, let’s get one thing straight—I will always want to obey any order you ever give me like that. Please give me as many orders to kiss you as you’d like. And secondly… I didn’t feel a thing from the geas. Not one damn thing, you clever love.”
Excitement and hope soared. “Are you saying it’s gone?”
“Not gone. I wouldn’t say that.” He grinned. “We can keep testing it with other orders to make sure, but I think as long as you hold the control of the geas it might very well be tied off for good. And since Isabeau had cast the spell using Azrael’s Athame, it makes sense he would be the only one who can transfer the geas to anyone else. I think we’re as stable as we’ll ever be.”
The relief was immense. She sagged. “Thank God.”
“Yes, and thank you.” Cupping the back of her head, heat replaced the laughter in his expression. “I think I need to obey your order some more.”
A smile broke over her face. She lost it quickly as he kissed her again. Her lips moved under his, while she pressed as close to him as she could get.
Nothing had changed between them. All the fierce burning was still there. The soft, healing kiss changed rapidly into raw demand. Prying her lips open, he plunged into her mouth with his tongue, driving into her with the force of his hunger.
That felt so good, so necessary, and it had been so damn long since he had done that, she moaned and feverishly began to unbutton his shirt while kissing him back.
He pulled back, his face flushed with intent, and tore out of his jacket. As he took over the job of unbuttoning his shirt, she stood to strip off her sweater, jeans, and shoes. She was just beginning to pull off her bra, when he stopped. Still kneeling, he wrapped his arms around her legs, turned his face into her stomach, and held her tightly.
The emotion in that wordless gesture made more tears spring to her eyes. Growing still, she stroked his hair. He pressed his lips to her skin, and she caressed his temple and the side of his face.