After having Ninlil in my head, the Imaron’s instant obedience didn’t feel wrong anymore. And that bothered me. Chance still wore a troubled expression, and when he let go of me, I got the feeling he’d love to put some space between us so he could do some thinking. I didn’t blame him.
God knew I’d like some distance from myself. Only it wasn’t possible. I had to live with everything I’d done and everything I was. Until the end.
Rock Steady
I trudged downstairs in silence, clutching Shan’s backpack. There were other items, the laptop, books, and articles of clothing. I’d handle everything, just in case, but it didn’t make sense to sit in bed while I did it; I had to recover quickly. With any luck, I’d find a clue that would tell us what our next move should be.
Less than five days before I had to return to Sybella.
My one consolation was that Shannon had been alive in my vision, listening to her iPod, and the music player still had power. So it couldn’t have been too long since they took her to the new location. There had to be something that could lead us to her. I’d find it.
Chance took off. Not into the city, but he stayed upstairs, making clear through his body language that I should give him some space. Though I regretted hurting him, there was nothing I could do. I wished his concern had been enough to drive the demon queen out of my head, but he could either accept me or he couldn’t. I had no energy to spare for reassuring him.
Clearly I had been here for a while, but I didn’t remember, so I took stock of my surroundings, inside and out. In Mexico City, I’d call this a town house, as it didn’t touch the other homes nearby and there was a small courtyard out back. It was similar in design, in fact, to Tia’s home. Otherwise, in furnishings, design, and building materials, they were nothing alike. Not surprisingly. The Imaron favored neutral colors, tan and brown, and odd sculptures. I couldn’t really be hanging out in a demon’s house. Soooo surreal. But after everything that had happened to me, my brain didn’t balk as much as one might expect.
Greydusk had a padded bench in the central sitting room, so I dropped down on it, opening Shannon’s backpack. I pulled out each item and laid it beside me.
Toothbrush. She would’ve carried this with her for overnight stays at Jesse’s, which meant they were sleeping together. The thought didn’t even give me a pang; that door was closed in my head for good. Unlikely it would tell me anything useful, but I’d leave no stone unturned.
“Do you require anything, Binder?” The demon stood at the edge of the room, watching me.
From behind him, Butch padded into view. He tended not to want me out of his sight during adventures like this one. I picked him up for a cuddle and he rested in the crook of my arm, licking my cheek.
“Were you worried about me?” I addressed the dog first, not the demon.
Affirmative yap.
“Things are pretty f**ked up, huh. Any advice?”
Another yes yap.
“Want me to get the Scrabble tiles?” Those should be in Chance’s bag.
The dog wagged so hard he almost fell over. Another single bark. Yes.
“I guess I do need something,” I answered the Imaron. “Do you know where Chance’s bag ended up?”
While I had a better athame, it would break my heart to lose my mother’s spellbooks. Until now, those grimoires hadn’t been out of my sight since they survived the explosion at the store. They were, literally, all I had left of her. That old T-shirt of hers, along with everything else I owned, went in the firebomb.
“I’ll fetch it for you.” On returning, Greydusk handed me Chance’s pack, and went on, “With your permission, I’ll pursue some leads on my own. There are sources I dare not trust in your actual presence but who might be moved to part with information.”
“Are we safe here?”
The Imaron considered. “The protections should be sufficient against most would-be intruders. Don’t answer the door. Don’t invite anyone in.”
“That matters? I thought it was only for vampires.”
Greydusk flashed a mouthful of sharp teeth. “Ah, but the legends take their lore from us. It does, indeed, matter to the Dohan, the Drinkers.”
Drinkers. There was no question it meant what I thought. But apparently I had to be dumb enough to say, C’mon in and crack open some A-positive. Of course, the way I’d been going, I understood why the demon would warn me against the obvious.
“Go on. I’ll be careful,” I promised.
Once he left, I felt relieved. I didn’t want a witness to my bizarre conversation with my genius dog. Some things were too weird even for demons. I set Butch down, alongside the scrambled tiles. He pawed at them with adorable concentration, fumbling the letters with his tiny paws. When he finished, I read:
Theres a bad spirit in you
Hmm. “Do you mean the demon queen?” He had been in the room when Greydusk had explained how the Old King gained his gifts, but who knew if Butch had been paying attention?
Positive yap.
“Could you see her in me before?” God, I felt dumb, though you’d imagine I would be used to this by now.
Two barks equaled no.
“So coming to Sheol changed everything. Awesome.”
He went to work on the tiles again. New message. Its growing
My blood chilled. “When? If I use demon magick?”
All the time
Every moment I spent in the demon realm, the more power the queen gained over me. Soon it might be her in charge all the time and me screaming helplessly in my own head. Likely the demons had known—or at least suspected—it would come to this. So the ones who wanted me to do something to wreck the natural order? They only had to get me here. It was an insidious scheme, worthy of a cunning mind. If they could delay me long enough, they won.
There was nothing I could do about it now, though.
“Thanks for the warning, bud.” My expression must have been hopeless because Butch nuzzled my leg until I picked him up.
Then he licked my cheek. He only did that when things got impressively awful. I stroked his spine in deliberate, dragging motions, and then scratched behind his ears, which he loved. He forgot he was supposed to be consoling me and rolled over to demand a belly rub. I obliged for long moments, trying not to look too far down the dark path ahead of me. When I stopped, Butch stepped off my lap to curl up next to me. Being such a smart dog, he knew I had work to do.
I put away the letter tiles and then applied myself to the next order of business. I hoped Chance would brood for a while. Once I started handling Shannon’s things, well, any wild emotional reactions I preferred to keep to myself. Maybe I could salvage whatever dignity I had left. I didn’t brace hard; I just wrapped my fingers around her blue toothbrush and let the images come. This time the charge wasn’t strong enough to pull me in.
Instead, it showed a fleeting moment, sparkling bright, like a sunny day at the beach. Shannon leaned over the sink in Jesse’s bathroom in one of his shirts. As she brushed her teeth, he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Nuzzled her neck, and she turned, smiling. The toothbrush clattered to the sink and I lost the thread.
Nothing that can help me. But it was good seeing them both happy. It offset some of the pain still swirling from earlier.
Next, I tried the clothing, but there was nothing. Likewise with Shan’s laptop. It wasn’t the sort of personal possession that lent itself to emotional resonance. Nudging faint guilt aside, I skimmed her e-mails and browser history, hoping to feel closer to her. I wanted to know what I’d missed about her life these past months. Pretty quickly, I formed a picture.
Chuch and Eva had helped her find a place while they rebuilt. One of his many cousins needed a roommate, and Shan fit the bill. She’d gotten a job selling clothes at the mall, which she didn’t love, but it paid the rent. At night, she studied for her GED, and two weeks ago, she’d passed the test. She had an e-mail from Eva, congratulating her. In her DOWNLOADS folder I found a couple of PDFs from Laredo Community College. One contained fee info and the other was an admissions application.
Wow. I was so f**king proud of her.
And there were random notes from Jesse, too, showing the evolution of their relationship. At first just short and quick, uncertain almost, as if he didn’t understand why she was on his mind. They got gradually longer, and then I read, Dinner was amazing. And breakfast was even better. That had to be their first night together. I felt like a spy then, and I closed the computer.
Where are you, Shan?
I wished I had the ability to connect with her, mind to mind, but I knew no spells that permitted it, only natural gifts. Some people were born telepaths, but I wasn’t. Which meant I had to do this the hard way. Fine. With a faint sigh, I packed up her things and zipped the backpack we’d bought together. Afterward, I sat with my eyes closed, thinking, hoping Greydusk returned with a vital lead, as I had nothing, a galling admission.
Later, Chance came down to join me. I heard his steps but I didn’t open my eyes. What he had to say wouldn’t be fun to hear, but there was no point in putting it off. I steeled myself for a twist on the breakup speech. This time, accurately, it would be It’s not me, it’s you.
“Corine.” His tone throbbed a demand: Look at me.
So I did. I owed him that much, even if he broke my heart again. This time, I didn’t blame him.
“Yeah?”
“I don’t care about the demon stuff.”
I froze. Ran my fingers through my hair in stunned reaction.
He went on. “I don’t even know who my father is. And it’s clear something’s happening to me here too. I love you. And I’ll stand by you, even in this.” His charming, disarming smile flashed. “If the worst comes to pass, if you ascend as the demon queen, I’ll figure out some way to keep you happy, because there’s no way in hell I’m letting anybody else take my place as your consort.”
“Holy shit,” I breathed. “You’d do that? Why?”