“Fine.”
I zap myself to the basement where they never go, and finally stagger in my new physical form, collapsing to a couch. I had planned on leaving the estate to keep them away from me. I’m not quite as irresistible in reality as I was in fantasy.
I also had no idea this level of exhaustion could exist.
If I’m a gift from Lilith, that means I lose something each time I earn something new. What if I have to fight this form more and more to keep my untouchable one? Or what if I lose something else that has been instrumental to my survival?
The comfort that encompasses me when I snuggle up with a blanket has me smiling despite the ache they left in my stomach. My life has revolved around them for so long, that I’m truly quite worried I won’t know how to exist without them.
And they’re never going to do more than tolerate me.
This snuggly blanket really is a miracle cure for staving off stupid tears.
When my stomach suddenly growls, I’m very freaking distracted from all thoughts of guys. It growls again, and a pang accompanies it.
Then a slow grin spreads across my face as I glance to the basement kitchenette, staring at the fridge. Though they never actually come down here and stay down here, they do use that fridge for storing leftovers a lot.
In the next instant, I’m wobbling on unsteady legs all the way to the fridge. As I’m scrambling to pull out a box of pizza, a thought occurs to me.
It might have been a little harder for them to turn down the offer if I had been wearing something sexier than the Pinocchio outfit.
My mind turns to mush when I bite into the pizza, feeling something so satisfying ignite in my mouth with a touch of surprise and savoring flavor. A little cold on the teeth, which I hadn’t anticipated, since I’ve never felt cold before.
Yet I know what it is, so I can assume I’ve felt cold and forgotten it. Even the pizza seems familiar, in a unique, sensory sort of way.
It almost startles me when I realize that the moan in the room is coming from me. If pizza is making me moan, then I can only imagine what it would feel like to have an orgasm.
Pizza still in my mouth, I touch my stomach, feeling a grin light my features as a surge of excitement bursts through me.
I can touch myself.
I practically inhale the rest of the pizza, then grab a glass of water to choke it all down as fast as I can. It’s not pretty, but it sure as hell works.
I try to make my clothes change, but it doesn’t happen. So I just tear them off and toss them aside, still working on unsteady legs.
I drop back down to the couch, my hand trembling as I slide it down my body. Even my touch is almost too much. My memory from the first time Ezekiel was watered down by my mind to keep me from missing it so much.
My mind goes back to all the women they asked to do this so they could watch. It sounds creepier than it is.
It was actually really hot.
And informative.
Half of it is immediate instinct when my fingers brush over the very sensitive clit I completely underestimated. My eyes flutter shut, and those fantasies flash through my mind.
In my head, they said yes, and Ezekiel is already starting me out by sucking my nipples.
I use my free hand to try and mimic how I think it might feel, and it’s like a shot to my lower body. Biting down on my lip so as not to make too much noise, I start slow circles, imagining Gage’s face between my thighs as he works that glorious mouth of his on me.
My imagination kicks it up a notch by letting Jude kiss me while Ezekiel continues on with his mouth. And I have Kai in the corner, watching me, his hand stroking slowly, matching a rhythm I’ve requested.
It’s so much more intense when I can actually feel the physical touch and the overwhelming sensations crossing over me all at once.
I immediately know what an orgasm is when one crashes into me so forcefully that I’m forced to arch, my toes involuntarily curling as an unbidden, rasp cry is pulled from my throat.
When I open my eyes, they cross, and the sound of my panted breaths resonate in my ears as I try to breathe normally again. A stupid, uncontrollable smile spreads across my lips, and I stretch, feeling remarkably less stressed and addictively relaxed.
If that’s an orgasm, I’m going to have as many as I possibly can until the day I die.
It’s so much better than I imagined, even though there is a small, annoyingly hollow feeling stealing a little of my high.
That pizza sounds good right now, so I sit up, planning to eat another slice before round two.
But I freeze.
All four of them are perched up on the stairs or walls, staring. Jude’s hands are gripping the banister so hard that there are indentions on the cracking wood.
Ezekiel has his hands clenched in fists, and it looks like he wants to strangle me.
Kai is leveling me with a look that is equal parts murderous and captivating as his arms cross over his chest.
Gage is gripping the bar, and he’s the first to turn and look away.
Now I know what it’s like to have an audience you’re unaware of. It’s a little embarrassing. And terrifying, in my case.
“Hide better,” Jude finally says through a sardonic, annoyed grin before he walks down the rest of the stairs and pushes out through the basement door that leads to the outside on this side of the house.
“Okay,” I manage to say on a rasp whisper.
By some miracle, I manage to go ghost and zap myself to the woods. I pick a new outfit while in this form before zapping to the waterfall just beyond here. The new whole form takes over as soon as I end up on the smooth rocks.
That are slippery.
A laughing scream is jerked out of me when I slip off the rocks and land in the cool water that feels…amazing. My eyes open in wonder as I look around, taking it all in.
The white silk gown turns out to be a terrible choice. It’s clingy as hell and very transparent in the water.
But I don’t care.
It’s just me out here, and I’m fairly shameless as I pick out a perfect boulder to lie down on for my next orgasm.
Chapter 23
Fun fact: orgasms don’t get old. However, I’m already desperate to graduate to a two-person orgasm.
Yes, I think about more than sex. But imagine discovering sex for the very first time. I’ve read about teenagers, so I don’t feel one bit ashamed about my current obsession.
However, the guys sure as hell haven’t come around. In fact, they’ve made it easy to adjust to my new form this past week because they’ve avoided me more than I’ve avoided them.
I tried leaving the house. It was a terrible thing to attempt, since I sort of got lost fifteen times, and kept having to zap back and forth. Ezekiel finally asked me not to leave without them, since I have no idea how easy to kill I may or may not be.
Another fun fact: I heal as fast as they do. I cut open my finger with a kitchen knife, and the wound sealed almost immediately. I wasn’t a fan of the pain, but it was a good learning exercise.
Don’t worry, I know their weapons won’t allow me to heal as fast.
I’ve seen them in action, so I go ghostly when they’re strapped with weapons and off to reap some souls. They’ve done a lot of reaping this past week, staying gone longer and longer.
Me? I’ve just been hanging out in my flesh.
They’ve kept the fridge stocked with sandwich stuff, and they drop me off takeout when they bring home food. It’s probably the most thoughtful thing they’ve done for me.
Ever.
I’m assuming at the rate I heal that I can’t starve to death, but it’s nice to not be hungry. Downside? Not one bag of popcorn has shown up in either kitchen.
Anyway, as long as I’m in flesh, I don’t ache for their presence. Another plus.
Everything evens out, I suppose.
I haven’t seen one bouquet of roses show up at my door, so I’m assuming they aren’t going to buy me any. And I have no money to go buy my own or decorate my room.
I’ve also learned to never drink that damn liquor they get from Harold. I choked half a jar of that shit down, and the next thing I knew, I woke up on the bathroom floor.
Not. Pleasant.
So far, I’m sucking my first week of being a real girl. But it’s the best week of my life.
A knock at my door tells me they’re delivering more food, which is odd, since they only dropped some off less than an hour ago.
I open the door not expecting to find the four of them loitering in the hallway. Ezekiel is the only one who looks directly at me.
“We’re going to the club. Thought you might want to come,” he says with a smirk.
The other three all give me a look of amusement I don’t particularly understand.
Their words finally resonate, and a smile flits across my face. “Are you inviting me?”
He shrugs.
“You’ve done good not to leave the house without us, so we figured it only right to reward you with something you want to do,” Kai tells me, a smug look on his face.
“How thoughtful,” I state, draining as much sarcasm into the two words as humanly possible.
Ha! Humanly possible. Fairly sure I’m not too human.
His lips twitch, and Jude turns away to smirk at the wall instead of in my face.
“We’ve been worked up this week, since you riled us up and left us hanging. It’s getting distracting, so we’ll be bringing you a show tonight, if you’re interested in watching, that is,” Gage drawls, his eyes cutting toward me.
I’ve experienced jealousy a multitude of times, but never so much of it that it left my stomach feeling lined with lead and dragging me down. I also have to swallow back a bit of bile, even as I force a smile.
Right.
I prepared for this. I knew this was coming. They’ve already gone much longer without a woman than I expected.
“Good. Then tonight I can hopefully do some shopping of my own and find out once and for all if I’m a virgin or not,” I chirp, trying to sound enthusiastic so they don’t see the unfounded way it hurts to know they’re choosing another.
They all give me an indescribably blank stare, almost eerie.
“Virgin?” Kai asks incredulously.
“Fairly certain I’m not, but I’m not entirely sure what I’m searching for or if my fingers are long enough—”
“I’ll see you guys at the club,” Jude grumbles, turning and siphoning away.
They all look freshly showered. I spent two hours in the incredible bathtub in my bathroom today, so I know I’m clean enough. Baths are my favorite thing about skin. The water feels amazing. And I don’t have to even bother drying off if I don’t feel like it.
One quick flick from real to ghostly and I’m dry and clothed.
Flicking out to my ghostly form, I opt for a sexy pair of leather pants, and a pink crop top that shows just a hint of my stomach.
My hair falls in loose curls around my shoulders, and I check the mirror, smiling at the fresh look.
A groan catches my attention as Kai vanishes, and Ezekiel runs a hand through his hair as he gives me a look of exhausted patience. His gaze flicks angrily to Gage before he’s gone as well, and I shrug.