This wasn’t a struggle to survive. This was a grieving tantrum.
They grieved me?
“Oh,” I say on a quiet breath. “Didn’t realize you four liked me quite that much,” I add even quieter, rather shocked, really.
Kai’s finger slips under my chin as he glares down at me. Leave it to Kai to act like it’s my fault they buried me so far away.
“I might have healed faster if you’d left me in my damn room instead of tossing me out like yesterday’s virgin girlfriend,” I state primly.
He grips my shoulders as his eyes harden. I don’t tell him it actually kind of hurts. My entire body is actually a little achy, if I’m being honest.
One type of soul-burning pain has been replaced with an achy, uncomfortable, and certainly untimely sort of pain.
“You. Were. Fucking. Dead,” he says, punctuating each word very unnecessarily loud.
I’m not sure why he’s insisting on saying that. I said I get it.
“That doesn’t explain why you buried me instead of leaving me in my room,” I point out, ignoring the growing ache spreading out from my stomach. “It’s not like any of you ever used my room before I took it, so it’s not putting you out.”
Kai gives me the neck-wringing look before his lips are on mine again, almost punishing me for trying to make sense of their rambles.
As much as I want to keep kissing him, I can’t. My head drops to stare at the subtly expanding bruise on my waist, and I slightly curse. I might finally get my virginity taken if I wasn’t in too much physical duress to do it.
“Shit,” Kai says, almost as though he’s just noticing the fact the stab wound isn’t there, but it’s still leaving a mark.
In the next breath, he’s lifting me and cradling me to him, and I give him an incredulous look. “I’m not quite that helpless. I can still stand. Just maybe don’t grip me so hard,” I tell him, expecting a grimace and an apology. Not an exasperated eye roll. Which is what I get.
He sits down, still holding me like I’m glass, and cradles me to him like I’m precious. To be honest, it’s freaking me out.
“Who are you and where is Kai?” I ask him, moving my hand up his chest a little hesitantly.
The really angry glare he gives me can’t be duplicated by anyone other than Jude. So I realize it’s actually him. And he’s being nice. It’s still freaking me out.
“I can’t be satisfied,” I say on a sigh, annoyed with my own self.
Nobody even bothers to ask what that means. It’s as though they know it’s a private conversation with myself. It’s like they get me. Finally.
Sort of.
They’re still completely disregarding my list of expectancies.
Ezekiel crouches in front of me, his finger tracing over the bruise, and I wince while painfully swallowing back the weak little cry I almost give up from such a little touch that shouldn’t hurt so badly.
“Lucifer’s poison did this to you,” Ezekiel says while grinding his jaw. “Lake was armed with it either by him, or by her father. She was part of a group preparing to overthrow hell, though the facts on that are still murky,” he adds.
“But she was also a royal escort—”
“No, royal escorts wear bags over their heads. I’ve seen what they look like without them,” I point out, then smile bitterly. “She definitely didn’t have to wear a bag.”
“In hell, she’s hideous. Topside…you saw. The balance was grotesque in one place, exquisite in another,” Gage goes on, cracking his neck.
“Wait, you mean those scarred, charred, and half human guards…she looked like one of them? They made them bag their heads because the Devil thought they were too stomach-curdling for him to have to see so often.”
Frowning, I try to remember exactly how I know that last part. Did Lucifer say something about it?
“The point is,” Gage goes on, drawing me out of my reverie, “she worked for both. She might have done it for the rebellion because Lucifer needs us. She might have done it for Lucifer to spare herself from the culling going on. So we don’t know which one wants us dead, and which one wants us on their side. But in the past month since Jude killed her, everyone has gone silent. Not even Harold has called me until today. We’ve not even been charged with bringing in souls.”
“But why would—” My words cut off when I feel something coming, and I go phantom in the next instant.
I also put on the first outfit that comes to mind, like I’m shielding my naked form before someone sees me and pisses off the guys. They like me, so that means they’ll be jealous, right?
Seems important they be jealous, though I’m not sure why.
I shake my head, blaming the fact I’m still a little poisoned for my even more random-than-usual thought process. I feel so clean now at least.
“She’s back, isn’t she?” a familiar voice asks from behind me somewhere.
Kai leaps up, and I end up on the chair alone as he passes through me and turns around, taking a defensive stance.
I poke my head through the chair, seeing Lamar standing there and looking overly excited. Jude swirls a sword in his hand, coming to stand a little in front of my head like he’s protecting me.
“I thought so,” Lamar says as he takes them in. “We heard of a botched attack on one of you in New Orleans last month. Then I lost the feel of her,” he goes on, stepping closer. “Then I felt her again, and knew this time without a doubt it was her. She feels weakened, though.”
Jude takes a step toward him, and Lamar frowns at him like he’s offended for some reason.
“I’m not sure what’s going on right now,” he says, sounding genuinely frustrated. “I understand she somehow resurrected you as mortals and gifted you a chance to live with a balance that defies all laws. She never was much of one for the rules, and she broke them quite frequently. But why keep up the charade now that you’ve clearly been outed?”
“Is he talking about me? I think he’s confused,” I tell the guys, moving closer to Kai, even though the wound is starting to drain me now that the adrenaline is wearing off.
“She’ll heal faster in hell,” Lamar goes on. “You know it. They’ll never know I gave you passage, and you can continue to keep your secret. I won’t tell them, if she really doesn’t want them to know. But why keep it a secret from me?” Lamar asks, actually sounding a little hurt. “Especially when she’s spent over a month healing from whatever it is she could have healed immediately from with my help.”
“Anyone have a clue why he sounds betrayed?” I stage-whisper.
“No,” Kai says from beside me, confusion written all over his face.
Lamar looks between the four of them, who are all staring at him like he’s just tipped over the edge of the weirdo cliff.
Lamar has a moment of confusion cross his features when he sees it written all over theirs. I’m not sure if he’s mimicking subconsciously, or if he’s genuinely confused by their confusion.
It’s all really confusing, if you want my opinion.
Then his eyes widen as though he’s just realized something as he takes a shaky step back.
“You truly have no fucking clue who I am, do you?”
“Yes…” Gage’s drawl is exaggerated, as though he’s talking to a crazy person. “Your Manella’s boyfriend.”
“Only because the royals don’t believe in marriage of any kind,” he feels the need to defend. “But at least you said boyfriend instead of lover,” he goes on.
Noted.
“That’s all you know me as? You’re not just playing some game?” Lamar asks as though this is a very crucial question.
The quad exchanges a look of confusion, and Lamar takes a step back. “Son of a bitch. How the hell did she do that?”
“He’s not making a damn bit of sense,” Ezekiel points out.
“Thank you,” I groan. “I was worried that I’m just stupid.”
“Is that how you have a balance now?” Lamar says as though he just thought of something that makes him a genius.
“I’m about to go whole and shake him down for answers that make sense if someone else doesn’t do it for me,” I say on a sigh.
Ezekiel is grabbing Lamar in the next instant, but Lamar simply winks, and we’re suddenly in a windowless room full of elegant décor.
“And we’re in hell,” I say on a sigh. “Again.”
But the pain vanishes, and I make the phantom shirt disappear to reveal the bruise is finally gone.
“She’s better, isn’t she?” Lamar asks, and I quickly make my shirt reappear and dart a gaze up at him.
He’s not looking at me. Whew. Thought he could see me.
His eyes are on the four guys who are all slowly looking away as though they were studying the healed injury as well.
“Feeling much, much better,” I tell them. “Don’t kill him yet,” I add to Ezekiel, whose lips twitch as he takes a step back and releases Lamar.
“She just told you not to kill me yet, didn’t she?” Lamar asks with an excited grin.
“You heard her?” Jude growls, as though Lamar has committed a grave offense.
In the next instant, Kai is behind him, a sword pressed to the base of his neck.
“Either you’re being very cruel right now, Paca, or they’re not the only ones who lost their memories. Which means everything I just think I figured out will be null and void, and you might very damn well let them kill me. Which means I’m an idiot for bringing you all here without alerting anyone.”
He clears his throat.
“A big, dumb idiot,” he says nervously as he looks around, waiting for someone to crack a grin and tell him we’re all kidding.
No grins are cracked.
“I can’t hear her. I just know that’s something she’d say if she was toying with me. But I’m starting to think she genuinely has no clue who I am. But why would she save me in that damn prison if she didn’t know me? She knows my role with spirits and—”
“She doesn’t know your role with spirits, but I’m really intrigued, because I’d also like to know,” Jude tells him, smiling wickedly as Kai steps a little closer with that sword, bearing in a bit, just barely not breaking the skin.
“You should sharpen your blades some time,” I tell him. “Apparently you’ve all gotten volatile and lazy this past month when I wasn’t around to make you awesome.”
Ezekiel blows out a harsh breath, as though he’s silently imploring me to shut the hell up.
“I think it’s time I explain a little better,” Lamar says a little less confidently, keeping his hands raised to show he’s no threat. But I’ve seen a lot of power roll out of him.
He could easily knock them away long enough to disappear. Or possibly kill one.