He takes a long drink then hands it off to Ezekiel.
“Yeah, but we didn’t expect it to be an ages-old, apocalyptic romance story,” I state dryly, stealing the jar from Ezekiel before he can get a sip.
My four psychos burst out laughing, and I turn to walk away, taking the alcohol with me.
“You four have a terrible sense of humor,” I call over my shoulder as I move to drop down in front of the TV. “Come show me how to livestream movies because I can only work the DVD player. I’ve apparently been studying Patrick Swayze when I should have been paying more attention to Keanu Reeves.”
Kai settles down right beside me, taking the remote. “I’m going to need more to go on than just Keanu Reeves, since I have no idea what that has to do with anything.”
Rolling my eyes, I point out the obvious. “I spent all those years learning about a lovesick ghost, assuming that’s what I was. When really, I needed to be watching Keanu.”
They just look at me like I’m crazy, and I snatch a quarter from the table.
“Heads, we watch Constantine,” I say as I flip the quarter. It, of course, lands on tails.
“What’s tails?” Jude asks as he drops down to my other side.
I sigh as I lean into Kai’s side, feeling some of the inner chaos settle as I soak in his warmth. “Devil’s Advocate.”
Chapter 15
“We were horrible people,” I state quietly to myself.
Apparently not quietly enough, since it causes Jude to jerk awake beside me on the floor-pallet-bed the five of us fell asleep on in the living room last night.
He groans when he looks at the time, and his arm tightens around me as he pulls me away from Gage a little.
“What the hell are you doing up so early after drinking all night?” he grumbles around a yawn.
He dozes back off, saving me the trouble of confessing my new obsession.
I flip the page on the book I’m reading—the book I spilled my blood on to make words appear.
It’s a very dirty retelling of how we fell in love in the life I had as a Duchess, who didn’t know she was quite so into debauchery when she was an innocent virgin the Duke—also known as Nicholai/Gage—forced her to marry him.
My gaze flicks over to Gage, wondering if he’d have a memory echo or whatever if I made myself look like this little drawing. Maybe all of them would.
Count Lavelle, also known as War—aka Ezekiel—was the first one to come in and defile the Duchess after the Duke gave his blessing. She really liked the way he just took her without warning.
The Duke watched, made her think it was him fucking her so hard from behind, when it was really the Count. My legs press together, and Jude tenses from beside me.
“What are you reading?” he asks, rousing from his sleep a little more.
“Go back to sleep,” I say in deflection, reading on as two Earls, who I’m assuming must be Jude and Kai, come to take their turn with their friend’s new wife.
As mortals, they could have any woman any time, it seems. But even with no prior knowledge of who I was or who they were, we all ended up in our little circle. I say circle, because reading all these has led me to believe we’re an endless line that is seamlessly tied together and ever circulating.
The part where the Duke holds his wife down for the two Earls to take their turns is wrongly turning me on. I can get an image of how confused I’d be if I couldn’t remember them, yet feel like it was so wrong to easily give into this.
They’d make me take it, knowing I’d want it, even without knowing me. They did make me take it. Over and over, and apparently I secretly loved it, even as I fought them as hard as I could.
It’s disturbingly wrong, which makes sense. I’m the Devil’s daughter.
That thought has marinated during the entire time I’ve been reading, reevaluating every active thought I’ve had.
We all fell in love eventually in this story. I skipped to the end, just to make sure, then went back to the beginning.
Well, the guys just have a strong bond in friendship, and they love each other like brothers. Kind of disappointing. I was hoping for some guy-on-guy action, even though I’ve never seen them cross that line before.
But they all love me. And I love all of them.
Yet we always sort of hate each other to start out with. At least a little.
It’s pretty hot when you read about it instead of feeling the frustration when it’s actually going on. I really want to slap them while reading the story about the Duchess. At least in the beginning.
Gage mutters something beside me in his sleep, moving closer as I fan myself and continue reading.
I have to quit reading this. Right now, with all that’s going on, sex doesn’t need to be on my mind. They didn’t even kiss me after we returned from hell, so I’m assuming they’re prioritizing as well, even though they did give me the night off to watch movies and sink into a silent stupor.
When I woke up at three this morning, I started reading. And haven’t stopped.
Do you know who my mother is?
No? Well, that’s because the Devil is an overachiever and had me on his own, and not in the way one might think. I was never really a child nor was I born. I was created.
I’m a manifestation of impurities and purities, then given a drop of Lucifer’s blood so I could take form. I’m apparently the most successful blending of the children because of my incomparable balance. My presence doesn’t hinder the balance topside no matter what day it is.
I’m a neutral entity. A weapon. A being who isn’t really supposed to have any personality at all, according to the original plan. I’m supposed to be cold logic and firm dictation.
Epic. Fail.
Lust is one of those impurities of mine. Love is one of the purities. Envy, of course, is an impurity. Greed is unsurprisingly not one of my impurities. I knew I wasn’t greedy. I’ve been telling the guys this, but they never listen.
They still haven’t bought me the gifts they bought those other women. Being covetous is certainly one of my impurities.
My entire thought process is making more and more sense the more I learn about my genetic makeup. It’s logically sound to dissect myself more now.
Not to mention, I’m inherently easily distracted, like all of the children, it seems. We like shiny things, booze, violence and sex. We don’t do serious very well.
Blowing out a breath, I decide to continue reading about the Duchess after all, and blame my easily distracted mind on Daddy Issues or genetic makeup.
Unlike in this life, they didn’t avoid sex with me in this retelling. They took it. Made me want them as much as I hated them. My body stayed on fire because they were constantly driving me over the edge.
In one chapter, I spent two days tied to a bed as they took their turns, bringing me to so many orgasms that I seemed to float off into a transcendent head space.
“Totally gipped in this life,” I mutter under my breath, flipping the page.
This chapter might be my favorite, because in it, I struggle with a conscience, telling myself it’s wrong to love all four psychos. Me. The Devil’s daughter.
Apparently I only had a conscience when mortal. I’m sure that was quite the annoying thing to suffer through.
Weirdly, I remember expecting to have a conscience when I first started coming about. I knew it was wrong to watch them in their most private of moments.
I thought I just learned not to care. But nope. I just finally crossed a line and never felt guilty about it. Because guilt isn’t one of my purities. And a conscience doesn’t exist for this hell spawn.
Obviously, the Duchess version of me was also clueless about her origins, and she’d been raised in societal norms where letting four very corrupt men have their wicked way with your body at their leisure while your husband allowed it was not very ladylike.
So she runs, trying to escape them.
My lips curl into a grin when they find her within a day, and they punish her by taking turns as she fights against them, trying to resist, but unable to really do so in her mind.
Spoiler alert: That’s when she finally admits she loves them and accepts the fact she’s just as dark and twisted as the four of them.
My eyes close as the book comes down to my chest, and I imagine what it would be like for one of them to hold my shoulders down, two of them to hold my legs open, and then take turns on who fucks me into submission.
Everything inside me clenches, and a moan slips out of me.
The book is suddenly snatched out of my hand, and my eyes fly open as I scramble to grab it back from Gage as he jumps to his feet.
Jude snatches me at the waist, dragging me back down and holding me to him, as Kai’s mouth goes to mine.
“Hurry and see what it’s about while she’s distracted,” Ezekiel says as Kai kisses me stupid.
Jude’s fingers are sliding up my side in the T-shirt I fashioned before bedtime. All the sensations are definitely distracting.
“Damn,” Gage says under his breath. “We were twisted fucks in this life, and she apparently really likes it.”
Kai breaks the kiss, a dark grin on his lips, and I jerk my head over to where Gage is grinning mockingly at me.
“This could work out with what we planned,” Gage goes on, tossing the book to Ezekiel.
Kai is on me again, ripping me away from Jude, and coming down on top of me as his lips crash to mine once more.
I moan into his mouth as he shoves my legs apart, making room for himself.
“How twisted?” Kai asks, biting down on my bottom lip.
“Very fucking twisted,” Ezekiel says on a shuddering breath, his voice thick with a reflection of the same twisted desire.
We should probably not be feeling so good about being evil. It probably upsets someone’s balance somehow.
In the next instant, Kai is shoved off, and the book is pushed into his chest as Ezekiel takes his place on top of me.
I’m in a haze of sensation, pulling E down to me so I can soothe some of the ache I’ve been left with.
He kisses me hungrily, groaning into my mouth as he rips me up from the floor. When he starts walking, carrying me in the process, my legs wrap around his waist.
Breaking the kiss, I pull back to look at him, seeing the other guys have disappeared.
“Don’t stop, and you’ll be my new favorite,” I assure him.
His eyes light up with that gold as he siphons us, and suddenly I’m being dropped to a bed.
That has me pulling my T-shirt over my head in an instant, but he just grins instead of coming down on top of me. My eyes get distracted, taking in the room I haven’t returned to until now.
My breath leaves in a rush when I realize we’re in my room, but it’s completely redone.
All the magazines that I’ve idly been tearing apart and collecting ideas for my dream room…it’s all here. Even the bed. The bed that stretches from one wall to another, making it the largest bed I’ve ever seen in my remembered life, and perfectly comfortable for five to sleep in.