“Jahl couldn’t catch all the runoff as intended,” the angel next to Rafael tells me. “Hell really is far too messy. It was doomed to become imbalanced, even if it had become a being.”
“As a being, it would have had more weaknesses,” Lucifer says, going off on another tangent, because clearly they have centuries of unresolved issues, along with half-brokered arguments.
“Back to how this has anything to do with me,” I say, gesturing to myself.
“You’re all a bunch of spoiled, self-serving, disrespectful abominations, and yet you think your life carries more merit than anyone else’s,” Rafael says through gritted teeth, angry eyes finding mine.
“Yeah, and you’re just a selfless, compassionate, sweet little angel, aren’t you?” I drawl with a quirked eyebrow as I cross my arms over my chest in disbelief. “I just healed, in case you want to take a few more swings at me. I think I leveled-up, so it may be more interesting this time.”
I feel Jude’s hand subtly move to my back, touching me through the lacy fabric there, like he’s preparing to channel from me.
He’s stupid if he thinks we’re facing them head-on. We’ll have do this sneak-attack style.
Ezekiel is going to need to go first to see how well War works against hell spawn and angels. My lazy siblings will have to pitch in that way.
“You see it as much as I do. Me killing her and you killing them restored her balance completely. Those pieces are back where they belong. That’s why the balance didn’t shatter. She fights him, or we do this all over again,” Rafael says, spitting the words out at Lucifer.
I almost point out that Manella was the killer of my boys, because we like shit really complicated around here. It feels like they just expect us to be okay with all this dying now that we’ve managed to return with no memories of the events.
“Over my cold, dead, fucking body,” Lucifer says with an eerily chilled tone, eyes on Rafael like he’s daring him to make a move. Weirdly, a drop of black blood drips from his nose. “I’ll fling you in there with him and see how well you fare, brother, long before you touch my daughter again.”
“They are tools. They are not your true children,” Rafael growls.
Rafael moves around the table, and Lucifer slowly stands, straightening out his jacket like he’s calm and cool, but ready to kill someone.
It’s when he’s calm that he’s the scariest.
“Can I beat Jahl?” I ask as the two move toward each other.
Going phantom, I quickly zap myself between them reflexively, surprised to find myself standing in this predicament.
They both stop advancing, standing on either side of me.
“No,” Lucifer says, at the same time Rafael answers, “Yes.”
Who to believe? The lying Devil, who has manipulated me one too many times, or the unbalanced angel who killed me and enjoyed slinging me around for the purpose of exposing a lie in place of the truth…
There really is a damn balance to every decision. It’s becoming tedious now.
“If she could beat him, you killing her would have shattered the balance,” Lucifer growls.
But…it could be more circling commentary with well-placed words to manipulate the entire situation.
“She’s twisted this entire situation to her benefit! It’s what she does. She’s selfishly selfless!” Rafael snaps.
“Selflessly selfish,” I amend, causing Rafael to scowl down at me. “You got it backwards.”
“You’re actually both,” the twins say at the same time. “Depending on the motives and the circumstances.”
I just grin at Rafael, because he seems infuriated about his insulting rant getting interrupted.
“Explain,” Kai says to the Twins.
“If she chooses to do something for a selfless reason, she has to find a selfish reasoning to do it as well, in order to preserve balance. She’s selflessly selfish in that equation, because she had no prior selfish motives. It’s all about motives and reasoning,” the one closest to us says in a bored tone.
“The overachiever she is, she usually only has to put thought into the big decisions,” the other twin says. “Because the small ones are subconsciously made with an easy balance for her.”
I glance back at Rafael when he releases a snort of derision.
“You’re pretty judgmental for a murderous psychopath with a halo. Curious. Do you have wings? Are angels allowed to have sex?” I prattle on, only needling him farther because it feels good, considering what he put me through. “Want to see what it looks like with your own personal harem? We’re up for demonstrations.”
Gage makes a sound of amusement, along with Ezekiel, making it hard to decide on my favorite at the moment.
Oh wait…that’s right. Chloe is still an unaddressed issue. Ezekiel it is.
Rafael snarls at me as my head continues to go off on sporadic tangents.
“She still thinks she’s funny,” Lilith adds on a groan.
“No. I think I’m hilarious and completely underappreciated. And I think no one wants to explain anything because they’re too busy arguing or distracting me. But that’s just one girl’s opinion, and I did die. Still not clear on the reasons why.”
Rafael looks even angrier, so I take a step closer to Lucifer. I don’t know if he’s stronger than Rafael, but it feels safe to gamble with the Devil I know right now, instead of the one who wears a halo when killing.
I still hate Lucifer for his manipulative illusions, but I’ll deal with him later.
“You think you’re the victim in this scenario, which shouldn’t come as a surprise. Hell always plays the victim, despite their sins. The righteous are always judged by all of you,” he goes on.
“Says the guy who killed me and beat me for the hell of it today, while letting the Devil break my heart and torture my mind. My soul is dark and twisted. What’s your excuse?” I volley.
“Sitting yourselves on a pedestal as you hold yourself to such a small standard of accountability,” Rafael bitterly rambles, not acknowledging the fact I just spoke.
“She couldn’t defeat him!” Lucifer snaps. “Now we know that for certain.”
At this point, I think Lucifer is just shouting things. Truthful or not? That’s the balance with him; you never know when it’s a lie.
“I can do this all day. Out of the two of us, I’m the only one who hasn’t murdered the other,” I say sweetly, batting my lashes at Rafael and ignoring Lucifer’s outburst. “Hardly think of you as righteous, so you can stop with the haughty tone.”
“Why are we even arguing? This is my decision now,” Lucifer growls.
“You really plan to do this? It won’t work,” Rafael says in a desperate sort of way that only confuses me more. “She has to fight Jahl.”
“She has to fight pure evil? How? She is evil!” Lucifer shouts back.
“But she has enough compassion and the perfect balance for this,” Rafael goes on.
Turning my head from side to side, looking over one shoulder and then the other, I listen as the angel and Devil argue back and forth. I shake my head, wondering how this metaphor just got so real.
I gesture between them as they take another few jabs at each other, and give my guys that unspoken question I expect them to hear. Can you believe this is actually happening right now?
Jude gives me that neck-wringing glare and points to his side like I’m supposed to immediately obey and zap myself there.
Right. Serious shit is going on. No time to be distracted by shiny things.
Still, when they lean over me to argue over my head—the Devil on my left and the angel on my right—I snort and choke back a laugh.
Rafael takes a few immediate steps back as I recover from my momentary slip. I hear Lilith and Hera both giggle as well, so I know they at least got the silent joke.
I hate them a little less for that.
“What’s truly funny, and you’re missing the point, is the fact you think I’m the villain and you’re the misunderstood victim in this equation because you have no memories of the truth, Apocalypse,” Rafael says with a snarl. “You’re the villain.”
“Simply because you have unsullied lips and mine are poisoned with sin?” I volley.
“No,” one of the other angels says, drawing my attention away. “Because instead of making a selflessly selfish or selfishly selfless decision, you just made a selfish one. You were going to end the world and help Lucifer seal hell,” he tells me, stealing all the lingering humor from the air.
My brow furrows as Rafael takes a step toward me, regaining my attention.
“You wanted to level it all, shatter the balance, and lock yourself safely behind hell’s front door and give Jahl the world.” He takes one step closer as a heavy weight settles on my chest. “After, of course, you spent a mortal life as a Romanian gypsy with her traveling harem,” he adds bitterly.
“That doesn’t sound quite like me. I was fearless,” I argue. “Everyone and everything says so.”
He goes on as though I haven’t said anything at all.
“Hell can’t fully be sealed to contain all its occupants, as you once were perfectly aware—no entrances, but plenty of one-way breaches. Who knows what would happen if Jahl gathers enough souls to breach one or both of us eventually,” Rafael continues as I slowly take a step back. “He has plenty of followers already in hell who would gladly turn over their souls, believing him to be a grander Devil than Lucifer.”
Lucifer groans. “I’m the Devil,” he states.
“But it’s just the Devil with a little t in my head. I have a big T with my title,” I state as if compelled to do so, and then I grin when Lucifer glares at me.
Why does it feel like I’ve just somehow won a prize?
“The point is, Jahl’s people—your rebels—would possibly drag all the souls from hell that Jahl needed, and you lazy, selfish, distracted ingrates wouldn’t do a thing to stop it,” one of the angels dryly states, giving Manella an incredulous look when Sloth himself startles awake.
He smacks his jaws before releasing a loud yawn.
“If Jahl can consume enough true souls like he’s been attempting to do for centuries, he could eventually consume both heaven and hell,” another angel supplies, eyes on me.
“That doesn’t mean she deserved to die!” Lucifer says, restarting the argument. “It was never her place to have to fight him!” he roars, shoving Rafael, who simply turns the other cheek.
“I killed her because the balance needed to tilt to purer times, and the only way to do that was to banish a great evil. She was acting selfishly, so there was no cost of balance from her death,” Rafael bites out.
“Did it work?” I ask Lamar, glancing over my shoulder as a dull pain starts in my temple. “Did the scales tip to purer times?”