She greeted me with a courtesy neigh, although she made it a point of looking inconvenienced that her sleep was interrupted by the offering of a mere three apples.
Sorry to disturb your beauty sleep, your highness, I said, sliding an apple through the gate. She took it begrudgingly, chomping at it like it was the least impressive apple shed ever tasted.
Bryn, a concerned voice cal ed out from behind. What are you doing in here? Wil iam paused, perusing my attire with narrowed eyes. And should I be concerned that youre wearing my brothers underwear?
Sorry, Il be right there, I said, careful not to meet his eyes. I just need a minute.
Are you crying? he asked, coming towards me.
No, Im fine. I turned my back on him, swiping my sweatshirt sleeves across my eyes.
Yeah, Wil iam huffed, gripping my arms and spinning me back towards him. Heard that one before. He took one look at my face and his lined with worry. What happened? He drew me to him, surrounding me with the comfort that natural y exuded from him.
Its . . .”I didnt want to tel Wil iam I was crying over another guy on his first night home, but more than that, I didnt want to lie to him”Its Paul, I said, sighing into his shirt.
His body tensed. What did he do? he asked, almost snarling. This time?
Wil iams reaction had me doubting my decision to keep what was upsetting me to myself. Wil iam had the patience of a saint, but hearing one word from me about Paul Lowe had a way of extinguishing it. It seemed even a saint had their limits when it came to a guy relentlessly pursuing his woman.
I bit my lip, drawing Wil iamhome™s attention to them. His eyes flashed fire. Did he try to kiss you again? His voice was murderous.
What? No, I said, emphasizing the calm in my voice. Of course not. After the warning Id given Paul this past summer after hed mauled me mouth-first, I could say with certainty he feared my wrath more than Wil iams.
The fire dimmed the smal est amount in his eyes. Did he lay one unwanted finger on you?
Oh, men. It was like there was no sin more unforgivable than one man hitting on another mans woman. Testosterone was as irrational as it was incendiary.
No, I said, sounding more exasperated than Id intended. Wil iam, please calm down.
Because, so help me god, Il rip his arms off and beat him with the bloody stumps if he even thought about” Hes leaving, I whispered, silencing his outrage with three soft syl ables.
His eyes relaxed as he swept my hair behind my ears. I know.
You knew? I asked, leaning back from him. Why wouldnt you have told me?
His face formed around an expression that shouted, Really? For starters, because Ive had a whole five minutes with you since Ive returned and I didnt want to waste one second of those precious few discussing Paul Lowe. And second, because it was his place to tel you, not mine. The anger had leaked out of his voice, but in its place was concern. Are you upset with me?
I looked into his eyes, drowning in worry. Of course not, I answered honestly. Im upset at myself.
Now why in the world would you be upset with yourself over Paul leaving? he asked, loosening his tie with one hand, coming to terms that there was no recovering from the detour this night had taken.
We both know hes leaving because of me, I said, looking down. But one of us is thril ed and one of us is tortured.
Youre right, I am thril ed hes leaving. He didnt yield to my glare. Its better for you, for me, and for him if he leaves.
For him? I repeated, not convinced Paul going to some unknown location with unknown people was in his best interest.
Wil iam nodded. A man can only take so much before he breaks. Judging from the location I noticed Pauls head hanging, his breaking point is about one Betrothal Bal away. The affectionate tone Wil iam was delivering his words with couldnt soften the truth. And I was about one more once-over stare from him directed at you from reaching my breaking point. A smile curled up one side of his mouth, but it was forced. But if I might inquire into the source of your torture? Is it because you feel guilty he is leaving or . . .”he swal owed, eyes drifting to the side”or is it because you maybe . . .
might have . . . some kind of feelings for him? His voice neared a whisper by the end of it.
Stil the doubt in him. I didnt know how much more of my unfailing love it would take to convince him, but I wouldnt give up, no matter how long or how much it took. He was worthy of my best efforts”and then some.
Wil iam Hayward, you are the only person who doesnt see you for who you are, I said, shaking my head. The only person I have those kinds of feelings youre referring to,”I fit my hands around his face”is you. I placed a tender kiss on each of his cheeks. I feel tortured because Paul feels such pain because of me. I cant even begin to imagine how it would feel if”having the feelings I do for you”I had to watch you love another woman, knowing there was nothing I could do or say to change your mind. I felt the waterworks threatening to switch on again. Im not saying Paul has the kinds of feelings I have for you”of course he doesnt . . . he couldnt. I shuddered at the thought of how it would feel to have that kind of love unreciprocated. But if he even feels one-hundredth of what I feel for you, it must be unbearable to see us together.
His hand slid under my hair to massage my neck. Oh baby, I know you intended that to be sobering, but that might have been the most beautiful thing Ive heard.
If that was the most beautiful thing youve ever heard,”I rose an eyebrow”coming from the mouth of a woman sporting menswear in the middle of a stinky, hot barn”
Also known as the woman who wil have my last name soon, he interjected, like it was the proudest of things. Yes, I didnt have any doubt Id be a Hayward soon . . . just, please, to everything holy in the universe, not because of the pale-haired charmer who could never love anyone more than himself.