"You're doing men in the drag show now?" I asked, surprised. Not the most appropriate question at the moment, considering the tension in the room, but I just had to know.
"Only Bob Marley and David Hasselhoff," Dwayne squealed and then morphed right back into scary Vampyre dude. "We'll report to Chicago in two weeks. Period."
"Fine," Angela capitulated wearily. "Where are you going?"
"Jamaica." Dwayne grinned from ear to ear. "We're going to Jamaica."
***
“Oh my god almighty and Cher pre-surgery, I could live here the rest of my days and be happy,” Dwayne gushed as we watched the ocean waves crash against the rocks. “If I had hair I’d get it braided and skip along the beach while it whipped me in the eyes.”
I rolled my eyes. Thankfully, he was bald.
“Jamaica is nice,” Granny mused. “But I miss the rednecks.”
She adjusted her thong bikini and I closed my eyes in agony. There was only so much I wanted to see of my granny and her naked butt wasn’t one of them. We'd all decided to postpone the necessary talks about Granny's past and Hank's nefarious skills until our vacation was over. I was more than okay with that. If we were all going to bite it soon, I wanted to have a week of fun in the sun.
“Where’s Hank?” I asked with my eyes still squeezed shut.
No one answered.
“I said, where’s Ha…”
I opened my eyes slowly, prepared to glue them shut if Granny had decided to go topless. My tummy dropped and my heart raced. Granny and Dwayne stood quietly by the shore with their backs to me. Hank was in front of me on one knee. In lieu of screaming or passing out, I dropped to my knees and held on to him for dear life.
“I’m pretty sure only one of us is supposed to be on their knees.” His lopsided grin made me weak and I giggled like an idiot.
“My legs quit working,” I stammered. “And I thought I might make you more comfortable…then a heavy metal band started a concert in my stomach and then my legs turned to jelly, and then I, um…”
“You done?”
“It would probably be a good thing if I was.”
“Probably.” He laughed and I felt heat crawl up my neck and land on my face.
He put his hand under my chin and raised my eyes to his. “Ester Elizabeth McGee, I have loved you since the moment I saw you many years ago. You are the other half to my whole. I promise to love you always and never let you go. You make me better and stronger and my life means nothing when you’re not in it.” He took a deep breath and his eyes glistened silver in the Jamaican sun. “Essie, I love you. Will you marry me?”
The screaming took me by surprise. Who in the hell was making that racket? I glanced down to the water’s edge at Granny and Dwayne. They were not screaming. Hank was not screaming. There was no one else on the beach.
It was me. I was screaming and crying and blubbering. Hank’s laugh made me want to slug him, but I wanted to kiss him more.
“Does that mean yes?” he asked as he trapped me in a hug so tight I could barely breathe, but I didn’t care. It felt so very right—so very perfect.
I nodded my head because I was terrified I would start screaming again.
“She said yes,” he yelled as Granny and Dwayne tore over to us.
“Where’s the ring?” Dwayne demanded, possibly more excited than me.
Hank pulled a beautiful diamond ring with a cushion cut stone from a pocket in his shorts, slid it on my finger and I gasped. It was redonkulously large and real and I loved it, but I loved him even more. I slapped my hand over my mouth to stem the babbling dialogue that threatened to fly out. Tears clouded my vision and my breath came in short gasps.
In my many imaginings of this moment, I had handled it with sexy grace. Real life had turned out vastly different than I expected, but it was no less wonderful. My joy matched my mate’s and my need to throw him to the ground and tackle him was overwhelming…so I did.
Granny and Dwayne slipped away and disappeared as I rolled down the beach tangled up in the most beautiful man in the world. The only thing stopping me from doing something illegal was the sheer amount of sand that had gathered in my bikini bottoms.
“I will marry you, Henry James Wilson. I will love you always. Next time I have a stupid idea, I promise I will run it past you first.”
Hank held me close and pressed sweet kisses all over my face. “That works for me, Essie. You’re mine.”
“And you’re mine.”
He laughed and picked me up in his strong arms. “Yes, I’m yours. Now I’d really like to shower the sand out of my pants. You with me?”
“I am with you till the end of time. I do have some sand in some unmentionable places,” I mumbled. “Maybe you could help me out with that?”
“I think it could be arranged. I definitely think it could be arranged.”
And it was. And it was amazing. Really, really amazing…really, really.
THE END