"Actually, not so easy," Dwayne shouted in a voice which finally caught the attention of the Dragons.
Never in my life had I seen Dwayne look so frighteningly inhuman. His anger flew off of him in waves of purple crackling light. The beams were visible and clearly blistering as his daughters backed away, slapping out the small fires igniting their clothes. Granny stayed with him. She took in his magic and added a pink flame of her own to the violet electricity flowing out of Dwayne.
"You. Ate. My. Staff. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find humans who will work for Vampyres? Not to mention, I liked them," he bellowed so loudly we all winced.
He was literally on fire now and the Dragons had the wherewithal to finally look alarmed. However, it was too late…
"You remember Dwayne's party trick you never wanted to witness?" Hank whispered as he stealthily moved the Cows and me away from Dwayne and back toward the house.
"Oh shit," I gasped as I quickened my pace as much as I could without being obvious. "You're joking."
"Nope, I'm not. Duck and cover when they blow," he instructed under his breath.
"What in tarnation do you mean blow?" Francis choked out in a trembling voice.
Before we could answer Dwayne let out a sound so shrill I slapped my hands over my ears. The ground shifted beneath us and the six Dragons in the front sprinted towards my BFF in an effort to stop the noise. Bad move… or more accurately, last move.
Dwayne's voice rose to a pitch so high it shattered all the windows on the entire back of the mansion. Shards and chunks of glass rained down on us, glittering like deadly confetti in the mid-morning sun. The six Dragons closest to him inflated like ticks. The screaming was horrifying but I couldn't turn away. It was akin to watching the most ridiculous and gory horror flick ever imagined. Their skin turned a mottled purple and they blew up like bombs.
Guts and body parts flew like projectiles as we ducked and covered. The Cows forced Hank and I beneath them and took the brunt of the disgusting mess. My gag reflex kicked in with a vengeance and I was grateful my stomach was empty. Green gooey bile floated on top of the water in the pool and we were all covered in unidentifiable remains.
Dwayne and Granny had collapsed to the ground. The other four Cows surrounding them covered their passed out bodies. There were six Dragons left and they were pissed. They stood drenched in the goop that used to be their brothers. The shock had numbed them and they stood with mouths agape and eyes flaming. Tendrils of smoke wafted from each of their noses and dangerous fangs ripped from their gums.
"We have about thirty seconds before those psychos shift and cook us," I grunted as I pushed Francis and Pat off of me and went for my squirt gun. "Shoot. Now," I shouted as I aimed and fired into the open mouths of the Dragons.
It was either the shock of the catastrophe we had just witnessed or the bovines had bigger balls than I had thought. Without any prodding, pun intended… the Cows jumped to their feet and fired the solution directly into the kissers of the Dragons. Their aim was so accurate I paused to appreciate it. The gals could shoot—possibly better than me. In that glorious moment I decided to cut a deal with the girls. I would teach them how to flirt and they would give me their shooting secrets. My end of the bargain was probably impossible, but I would give it my all.
"Take that, you mother humper," Pat shrieked as she shot the disgusting fluid at the Dragons.
As we hit our bulls-eyes the Dragons coughed and gagged.
"What have you done?" a Dragon screamed as he spit the vile liquid from his mouth.
"I can't shift," another growled in fury as his arms flew wildly over his head.
The confusion and slippery debris had turned the monster movie into a macabre comedy as the Dragons collided into each other in their efforts to get to us and kill. Thankfully the battle would be in human form. I loved Junior so much at that moment it made my teeth hurt.
"You ready, baby?" Hank yelled over the chaos.
Sparks of color I'd never seen from him rolled off his huge frame. His power was massive and the Dragons took notice immediately. For a brief moment Hank even frightened me. He was like an avenging angel from Hell, but he was my angel, and I was going to fight right beside him.
"I'm ready."
I quickly glanced to my left to see if Dwayne and Granny would be available for back up. They were slowly rising to their feet with help from the Cows. They were disoriented and unstable on their feet. Hank and I were on our own.
"It's just you and me," I told him as I rolled my neck and prepared to rip off some Dragon head.
The enormous burst of green and yellow smoke took me by surprise. I couldn't even see my hand in front of me. I closed my eyes and tried to go by scent, but it was impossible—too many odors permeated the air. How the hell could we fight blind? More importantly, could the Dragons fight blind?
I reached for Hank but he was gone. My gut clenched and I dropped to the ground to see if the smoke was rising. If I could find feet I could find a Dragon. The whimpering of the Cows made me stop. They were going to be filet mignon for the enemy if they didn't shut up.
"Quiet," I hissed as I felt for them. "Don't lead them to us."
It seemed like an eternity, but it couldn't have been more than a minute or two before the smoke began to clear. I spotted Hank by the pool crouched low. Granny and Dwayne were huddled with their Cows and I was with the remaining girls. However, the Dragons were gone.