"Will do, doll."
"Do you need extra protection in Michigan?" Hank asked as he paused at the door. "I can send some of the Pack from Georgia for reinforcements."
"Got it covered," Dwayne mumbled and began to frantically straighten the pillows on the couch.
Crapcrapcrap. Dwayne only straightened things when Armageddon was approaching.
"Spill it," I said as I marched back over to him.
"Fine. I called a few Vamps to help guard the compound in Michigan. Too dangerous for anything but dead people and Cows to be around for a while."
"I thought you told me Vampyre get-togethers end in decapitation?"
"Occasionally," he hedged. "However, I made some deals."
"They owe you?" Hank asked.
"Um… not exactly. I kind of sort of might owe them now."
The story just kept getting worse…
"We. We owe them now," I stated firmly.
"Sweet Jessica Simpson on a skinny-ish day, I will not allow you to owe a Vampyre anything. Ever," Dwayne said so loudly even he winced.
Hank's sharp intake of breath and audible groan shook my confidence a little, but the was no freakin' way in hell Dwayne was going to bear the brunt of the consequences for taking care of my granny.
"I'm serious," I said loudly. Loud was good. Loud sounded confident—or certifiable. I was going with confident. "How bad can it be?"
"Um…" Dwayne started.
"Stop," I shouted and slapped my hand over his mouth. "I don't want to know. I feel it would be better if I use avoidance on this one until it's in my face. We clear?"
"Yep," Dwayne said with wide eyes and a small scream.
"Alright, Hank, don't say anything and don't look at me for five minutes until I'm past imagining what owing a Vampyre a favor means. You got that, big guy?"
Hank inhaled deeply and blew the air out of his mouth. He held onto his anger by a thread. It made my brain run wild with thoughts of being chained to a coffin in a dank basement for a decade and performing blood slave duties for a pale-skinned, stinky Vamp with long fingernails, putrid breath and a weird bun head. I really needed to stop watching TV.
Hank nodded curtly and picked up the camera Dwayne had hidden on the couch and crushed it. Dwayne's shriek of dismay made me grin and forget for a moment that I might be beholden to a Vampyre who wasn't my beautiful, gay best friend.
Thank god for senseless destruction of property… it really did take your mind off of your problems.
"Well, have a good time and don't die," Dwayne said in a cheery voice as he snapped another shot of Hank with a second camera and hustled us out of the front door.
"You take care of Granny," I said as I hugged him tight.
"With my life," Dwayne promised and kissed my cheek. "With my life."
Chapter 13
"I need to do something life affirming," I said as I searched for a song on the radio I could deal with. Meditating was out. I couldn't find my center in a moving vehicle. "Do you want a blow job?"
"Oh my god, Essie," Hank groaned with a pained laugh. "You have just made a long drive much longer." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and gripped the steering wheel like it was going to fly away.
"Does that mean no?"
"Yes."
"Wait," I said as I settled on a top forty station that would make Dwayne proud. "I'm confused. You do want a blow job or you don't?"
"I always want a blow job," he said tightly. "I just don't want a life endangering blow job."
"Are you saying that because I'm so good at blow jobs or because any blow job would make you wreck the Hummer? Pun completely and totally intended."
"The only person I want a blow job from is you," he said as he tried to readjust his now tight pants.
"Because I'm so awesome at them?"
After a brief pause and a chuckle he said, "Yes. Yes, you are."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"How about a hand job?" I tried again.
His grunt of agony was music to my ears.
"How about we wait until we get to Chicago and go for broke?" he suggested with a sexy half-smirk that melted my panties.
"Works for me."
"And I just want to thank you for still being attracted to me in gauchos," he added with a shudder.
"Hank, I would be attracted to you in a strapless beaded gown and a boa. You're all kinds of hot and all kinds of mine no matter what you're wearing."
"Back at ya, baby."
Indiana was flat and kind of mind-numbing. However, the miles of windmills kept me busy as I tried to count them, much to Hank's amusement. The outskirts of Chicago were industrial and stinky. We bypassed the city, got on 94, and arrived in Lincolnshire just as the sun was setting. Apparently Dwayne kept this particular abode because there was an in-the-round dinner theater he enjoyed performing at. The thought was alarming and yet also strangely comforting. His biggest credit was playing the king in The King and I. I'd lay money it was due to the fact he was bald and hotter than Hades, because his voice was more suited to Lady Gaga than Rogers and Hammerstein. Plus most Vamps preferred big cities and he was relatively safe from friendly decapitation in the ‘burbs.
"I say we call Angela and her Dragon in the morning," Hank said as he pulled the Hummer into the garage.