"You'll go with Junior and feel it out. Does anyone there know what you look like?" Hank asked.
"Nope, I've only ever been to the parking garage. Angela never let me in the building," she said with a shrug.
"That's rude," I muttered. "I suppose she was hiding you."
"Or hiding something," Hank said. "If you're not back within the hour we're coming in, which would be a very bad thing."
"Couldn't agree more," Junior said. "So Dima, do you have a mate?" he asked politely as they made their way to the front door.
"My dad killed him," she replied with very little emotion.
"Jesus Hesus," Junior shouted. "I'll kill your dad for you. Guy's an asshole."
With a curt and grateful nod, Dima stopped and turned back.
"Does the H really stand for Hesus?" she asked with a doubtful squint of her eyes.
"Um… no," I admitted. "But if we say it enough we could make it the new thing."
All four of us mulled it over for a bit. Were we damning ourselves to hell by lying about Jesus' middle name? Did Jesus even have a middle name? And if he didn't… was it wrong to give him one?
"I'm in," Hank said with a grin that made me giggle.
"Me too," Junior added.
"Me three," Dima said with a quiet chuckle.
"Awesome. I'd say it will take a week or two of constant usage, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram to get it to catch on. Junior, you ready to hack Webster's Dictionary?"
"Yep," he snorted. "And the religious ones."
"We really are going to hell," Hank said with a laugh and a groan.
"It's fine. I already have a suite reserved," I joked…kinda.
"Air conditioned?" Dima inquired.
"But of course," I said.
"Then we're good," Junior said as he pulled a laughing Dima out the door. "We need to get this shit done so I can get back to Georgia and convince Sandy Moongie she can't live without me."
"Oh my god," I gasped. "Do you think she'll get stolen away while you're here?"
"Hell to the no," Junior said with confidence. "I threatened to kill any male who even looks at her while I'm gone."
"Well, there's a novel way to earn the trust of your new Pack," Hank said with a disgusted shake of his head.
"Right?" Junior said proudly.
"I was being sarcastic," Hank explained to a now confused Junior.
"Well, it was better than locking her up in solitary confinement so no one could flirt with her… don't you think?" he asked, now not quite as confident with his choices.
"Yes," I said as I shoved him and Dima out of the front door. "It's very good not to lock your future mate up—especially since she still doesn't like you all that much. You did good. Now go find out what the hell we're dealing with so you can go home and screw something else up with Sandy."
"Good thinking," he said as I slammed the door shut and leaned on it.
"Oh. My. God," I said with a sigh. "Sandy is in for some trouble with that one."
"Agree," Hank said as he handed me the ringing burner phone. "It's Dwayne."
My stomach dropped as I took the vibrating phone from Hank's hands. I could only pray Granny was doing better than we were.
Chapter 17
I was pale when I hung up the phone. I was also exhausted.
"Just tell me Granny's all right and then you can get to the rest of the story," Hank said gruffly as he waited to know Granny's fate.
"She's the same," I said as I shook my head and tried to remember everything Dwayne had just told me. "She's still in Death Sleep, but she's alive—as much as a dead person can be."
"Okay, good," Hank said as he dropped down on the couch and waited for more. "You were on the phone for twenty minutes and said barely ten words. What in the hell was Dwayne rambling about?"
"Well, um… "
Where to start? I ran my hands through my hair and tried to find words that would make sense.
"Is it that bad?" Hank asked with a grimace.
"No… it's just that weird," I told him.
"Maybe I don't need to know."
"Nope, if I had to hear your redonkulous bullcrap all the time, you have to have what I just heard branded into your brain too," I informed him. "Let me just start by saying Dwayne is all over Jesus Hesus. While we were talking he tweeted and emailed about six hundred people. He says it will only take three days of focused work for it to make national news that Jesus' middle name is Hesus."
"Speechless and scared," Hank said with a shudder.
"That's nothing," I deadpanned. "You know all the Vampyres we owe favors to?"
"The ones protecting Granny?"
"The very same. Apparently they are quite taken with the Cows and are trying to barter for marriage."
The sound that came out of my mate was alarming. I jumped up and slapped his back. Hard.
"I just choked on my own spit." Hank gagged and then doubled over in laughter. "Are they blind?"
"Hank, that is not nice," I reprimanded him sternly.
"Essie, it was driving you nuts when you couldn't figure out if they were male or female. I'm getting busted on because I'm asking if the Vamps are blind?"