"Correct, but it's so much fun to see the look on your face when I overshare."
"While it’s all kinds of awesome for you, it's totally sucktastic for me. Do it again and you're wearing a plain old black tuxedo to the wedding," I informed him with raised brows.
His squeal of terror was music to my ears. It was difficult to make eye contact with my parents after the great reveal of my sex life, but what was done was done. However, I was going to think of something to tell Dwayne's girls guaranteed to make him want to hide for a week or two. It was going to be a challenge, considering Dwayne had no filter and very little shame…
"Anyway, back to what I was saying before Dwayne started spouting all that fiction," Hank said while staring at the ceiling and trying to gather himself. "I love your daughter. I have loved her since the day I laid eyes on her. I just want you to know I will make her happy and love her for every moment I live."
My dad grunted his approval and my mom licked his cheek again. I simply stared at him.
"I love you so much it makes my teeth hurt," I said as I threw myself into his strong arms.
"My life is empty without you in it, crazy girl," he said with a grin.
"I hear there's a good Western on TV tonight," I said with my own silly grin.
"You don't say."
"Actually, I do say. And I can guarantee you're gonna love the show. It's a wild one."
"Essie," Granny said as she got up and loving ran her hands over her daughter and son-in-law.
"Yes, Granny?"
"We all know what you're talking about," she said with a wink and a smirk.
"Shit," I muttered as I felt the heat crawl up my neck and land squarely on my face.
"It's okay, baby," Hank said as he pulled me toward the grand staircase that led to the second floor. "Trust me, they've all been there and wish they were again."
"He's right, sweetie," Granny confirmed. "Can I use my real cell phone now?"
"Sure, why?" I asked.
"Because I'm pretty sure I'm smarter now that I'm dead. I think I could kick that cheating computer’s ass crack in Scrabble," she said seriously.
"Um… awesome," I said. "We're gonna go watch a western… maybe three."
"Or six," Hank said as he picked me up and took the stairs two at a time.
"Have fun," Granny called out as my parents howled their approval.
"I love you, Hank Wilson," I whispered when my family was finally out of view. "You make life so much more fun."
"And I love you Essie McGee soon-to-be Wilson. You make life worth living."
"You ready for a Western, cowboy?" I asked with a giggle.
"Never been more ready for anything in my life," he said.
Epilogue
The WTF Council accepted our version of the events with very few questions asked. I was shocked. Hank was not. It was a relief to know they were as surprised and appalled as we were at the creation of the feral Wolves and the bargaining with the Dragons.
There were several on the governing Council I thought were a little shady, but it wasn't the time or the place to call them on it. Thankfully the reveal to the humans was on permanent postponement due to the small fact the champions of the stupid idea were dead.
However, when they asked Hank and I to take over the seats of extremely indisposed and six feet under Aramini and Gades, we were both struck dumb.
Hank likes to tell the rest of the story, but I always stop him with the threat of withholding panty privileges. Granny would have a fit if she caught wind of my language.
The truth goes like this. They asked. We laughed hysterically.
They asked again. We laughed harder.
They asked a third time and it dawned on us they were serious.
We stopped laughing.
I then said, no f-bombing way would I be on the Council. Hank cracked up to the point he almost hyperventilated, which is very difficult for a Werewolf to do. The Council members, particularly Weterman and Dahn, were highly unamused by me and my colorful language. But I'd been through so much in the last few weeks I didn't really care.
I think I may have called Weterman an asshat at one point. Hank swears I did. I'm not as sure. I thought I called him an assjacket.
They asked us to hold off on giving them a real answer for a few months. I was clear though that if we decided to join their sorry old asses—my words, not theirs—there would be no more retreats in Wisconsin. All future retreats would have to be in Jamaica or Hawaii. My change of venue confused a few, but they didn't say no.
We hid my parents safely within the Georgia Pack. Junior welcomed them with open arms and expressed his fervent desire to find a spell or potion that would one day enable them to be human again. Most of the ferals joined the pack as well, but several went off on their own. This was probably not smart, but after having lived in captivity for so long we let them leave uncontested. Although if they caused problems or we discovered a cure, they knew they had to come back to the fold.
The new and improved Granny is a shock to all. No one ever saw a true hybrid. She is thrilled with the attention. She and Dwayne are now working on a musical tribute to Twilight in honor of Granny's new bloodsucker status. Apparently there's a pole involved and an array of nipple-less sequined bras. I hope to Jesus Hesus my parents never watch the show.
Speaking of JHC, aka Jesus Hesus Christ, we made the urban dictionary and the national news. Of course, the credit went to the churchgoers who claimed Jesus came to them through their TV sets during an episode of The Voice and told them the Lord's middle name was Hesus.