Going viral was all kinds of credibility ruining awesomeness. Dwayne has been canvasing everyone as to what the next new thing should be. We haven't decided yet, but Moses Bilbo Waterparter is edging to the forefront.
The Cows are now living with the Vamps, much to Daddy Dwayne's agony over the situation. My BFF threw a fit so large it caused a mini tornado. Thankfully nothing and no one was harmed except for Dwayne's collection of Dolly Parton wigs. He repeatedly threatens to dismember and chop to pieces any Vamp who makes his girls unhappy. He’s quite specific about chopping them up and then putting the pieces all over several continents so it would take centuries to regenerate.
His detailed threat left most of us at a loss for words. However, Granny thought it was hilarious. Vamp humor… go figure.
Dima is the one I worried about most when the dust settled. With her father still alive she's gone into hiding with her son, Daniel. Dwayne is the proud owner of approximately three hundred homes around the world and gave Dima the keys to all of them. She has nine months and we have been working closely with her. If she finds a mate, we won’t have to off her dad immediately. The main problem she has is most male Dragons are terrified to show interest in her due to her father's penchant for killing them. However, she did keep mentioning a guy named Seth. Interesting.
Junior was on a mission to get Sandy, and his love campaign was going to hell in a hand basket fast. Against the advice of Dima and myself, he'd used the word boff in reference to Sandy four times. She'd of course caught wind of it since you couldn't sneeze in Hung, Georgia without everyone knowing. Sandy has been ignoring Junior for several weeks. He’s been depressed and more determined than ever to get his girl. God help us all… especially Sandy.
"Do you think if I asked nicely Dwayne would pick out the invitations, the flowers and the cake for the wedding?" I asked Hank as I sat curled up on the couch in our perfect little bungalow in Hung, Georgia.
"I don't think you even have to be nice about it," Hank said, making a fine point.
All the Cows had insisted on eloping with their Vamps which almost sent Dwayne over the edge. He blamed the dead dudes for this and was prank calling them on a semi-daily basis.
"You're right. You know, we really will have to name our firstborn son after him," I said as I scrolled through the family pictures we'd had taken last week. They were a bit unconventional, considering some of us were in fabric and some in fur, but I thought they were beautiful.
Junior had been unsuccessful so far finding an antidote to the spell that had been put on my parents and the other feral Wolves. But I knew he would never give up. That was the kind of guy Junior was… just ask Sandy Moongie.
"Do we really have to?" Hank asked as he plopped down next to me and looked at the pictures.
"Yep, he convinced your mom he had to wear her dress. It might just mean we have to name all of our sons Dwayne."
"Like George Foreman?" Hank laughed. "Dwayne Jr, Dwayne the second, Dwayne the third and so on and so on and so on."
"Well, since I'm only blowing out two point five children, we could only have Dwayne Jr, Dwayne the second and Dwa," I explained to a laughing Hank.
"God, I love you, love you, love you," he said as he pulled me close.
"Should we go try and make Dwayne Jr?" I asked, running my hands over his broad chest.
"Wouldn't it be scandalous to be pregnant at the wedding?" he asked in mock horror as he slid his hands under my t-shirt and cupped my breasts. Shudders of pleasure shot through me and I arched to give him better access.
"I'm pretty sure my parents already know we do the nasty. How bad could a baby bump be?"
"Works for me," he said as he picked me up and carried me to our bedroom.
"You are so easy." I laughed as he tossed me on the bed.
"Only for you, Essie."
"Good thing you're mine then."
"Damn good thing," Hank agreed. Then he fell on top of me and let me know how much of a damn good thing it was.
And he was right.
It was a damn good thing.
A very, very, very, damn good thing.
THE END