A nine-headed Hydra.
I shivered and rubbed my hands over my arms. “Again, I am not getting into trouble. It keeps finding me. There’s a difference, you know.”
“Not from where I stand. You don’t need him to help you. Trust me on this. No matter which of you broke things off, this is better for you.” He stepped back. “Have a good night, ma’am.”
“Ma’am. I hate that, don’t call me that!” I rolled my window up as if that would keep him out. I turned the engine over and pulled away from the curb. I shot a look at Ernie. “Nothing pithy to say?”
“I was going to say that you have better help than Jensen, but it was nice of him to offer.” That didn’t sound like Ernie.
“Spit it out, what did you really want to say?”
The words exploded out of him like he couldn’t contain them any longer. “He’s got such a hard-on for you, girlfriend, it could be seen a mile off in the dark by a blind man!”
The laughter burst out of me, and I didn’t stop until long after the tears rolled down my cheeks. “Thanks, I needed that.”
“Well, it’s true. I mean between him and Hephaestus, you at least have options.” He gave me a big wink, and I did my best not to think about Smithy, a.k.a. Hephaestus. I’d met Smithy when he’d been part of the SDMP—Supernatural Division of Mounted Police—and I’d thought he was a werewolf. Turns out, he was a Greek god in hiding, Hephaestus, the cranky old blacksmith responsible for arming his fellow gods and goddesses. Except that he looked far from old, and with me, he was far from cranky. I tried not to consider just how kind he’d been, or that he’d all but said I was the kind of woman he’d want in his life. If he hadn’t had to deal with his crazy wife, Aphrodite, that was.
It seemed that all the men in my life had an excuse why I wasn’t quite good enough. The thought galled me, and at the same time made my anger flare. I was good enough.
I obviously just hadn’t found the right man yet.
I turned left, using the moment to check my mirrors and give me time to think of a proper reply. “Smithy is in the middle of his own divorce, if you recall, and he only liked me because it irritated his wife.”
“Oh, don’t sell yourself short. I bet if you offered him a taste test, he’d run with it all the way.” He waggled his eyebrows at me, which made me laugh again.
“Ernie! I’m not that kind of girl!” I spluttered.
He laughed. “I meant at your bakery, you know, the kind of taste test you just offered your brother. What kind of taste test were you thinking, you naughty girl?”
The heat in my face could have baked two batches of macadamia-nut cookies in under a minute. “Stop teasing me; I don’t want to be laughing and joking right now.”
“No, I won’t stop. Because until you realize that Remo was a fool for walking away from you, I’m going to keep pointing out that you have options. Good ones too. You might not realize it, because all you can see is that smoking-hot vampire.” He leaned back in his seat and ticked his fingers with each point. “Jensen is human, which means you can be with him, even if you’d have to be awful careful not to squeeze him too tight. Same as Hephaestus—except you could squeeze him all you like with those long legs, and I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be bothered in the least. Perks to being a god, you know.” He winked again, and I clutched at the steering wheel.
“Smithy,” I corrected him.
“Fine, Smithy.” He shook his head. “Either of those men is free and clear to be at your side with no issues. And with Smithy, he is something of a powerhouse. He’s strong and could really help you out with the whole hero-coming-to-kill-you business. And you’re going to need help. I know you’re one tough badass, but a nine-headed Hydra? All hands on deck for that big bitch.”
I was silent a moment as I took in what he was saying. “So you think I should whore myself out for help?” I didn’t like what he was implying.
“Isn’t that what you did with Remo? In the beginning at least?” he pointed out, and I cringed. It was true, though. That had been the deal—my blood for Remo’s help.
“That was just blood, not my body.” I didn’t want to think he was right, but maybe . . .
My bakery was ahead, and it occurred to me that, for the evening hours, the road was packed with far too many vehicles. I frowned as I did a quick count. Over twenty cars and trucks, and I knew none of the businesses were open at that late hour.
I drew closer to see people standing out front of Vanilla and Honey, my bakery, with signs in their hands and Halloween masks over their faces.
“What the fricky dicky is this?” I whispered. I pulled around to the back parking lot, turned the engine off, and glanced at Ernie. “This conversation is not done.”
“Well, I hope not.” He smiled and rubbed his hands together like an evil genius. “Because I’ve got all sorts of ammo to use against you to prove why you should just let the vamp go.”
Dang it. I slid out of the car as the crowd rushed around the back of the building and surrounded my car, slapping it with their wooden signs.
“Stop it!” I yelled, trying to get them away from my new baby. The paint job was going to take a literal beating. Of course, no one listened to me.
“Humans first!”
“Cage the monsters!”
“Go back to your side of the Wall, you freak!”