That one second had annihilated her entire future.
That one second that plunged her into infinite loneliness.
One second, and she was ruined.
One second, and all she could hope for with a man was what she’d built over text with Jaxon—a shallow relationship that would never go as far as touch.
She was monster now. How could she expect any man to love her the way she’d turned out to be?
The phone rang, and she jumped nearly out of her skin. Before she could stop herself, she peeled back her lips and hissed out a feral sound. God, she was weird now.
“Jaxon?” she answered.
“Come outside.”
“What?”
“Come outside. Walk around your cabin and head straight back to the tree line. There is an old, wooden broken down fence about thirty yards in. It’s rotted and falling down, so you’ll have to look for it. There’s an opening in a broken section, and behind it there is a deer trail that leads straight up the mountain. Follow it until you get out of Red Havoc territory.”
“I can’t just run away.”
“I’m not askin’ you to. You’ll go back to your den tonight, cover your ass, tell your crew whatever you want. This is me giving you a choice, Anna. I’ll be there on the edge of the territory. Face me. Tell me all the whys. Tell me what’s happened and if you’re in trouble because I can’t get my animal to leave this town until I hear you say the words.”
“What words?”
“That you’re okay. That you don’t need my help. That you don’t need me. Tell me to my face, and I’ll leave.”
“And what if I get there and I don’t want you to leave?”
Silence dragged on for eternal seconds. “Then you should tell me that to my face, too. I’ll be here. Come or not, it’s up to you.”
“Wait. Jaxon, I have to think about this. Ben forbade me from seeing you. This crew is my shot at some kind of life where I’m not in a fucking cage. I can’t just run up the mountain and disobey him. I’m already on thin ice here.”
“Then no pressure, Anna. I’m not here to ruin your life. That was never what I wanted. I wanted…”
“What, Jax? Finish.”
“I’ll be on the edge of the territory for three hours. Bye, Anna.”
Click.
Annalise strangled the phone and made a screeching sound that hurt her throat. Ridiculous man, she couldn’t just disobey Ben! She didn’t know much about shifter culture, but being alpha meant he was basically mayor of Moonshine Town and she was nothing but a peon. She made to slam the phone down in the cradle, but thought better of destroying her only means of communication with the outside world and slowed it down right before it hit. Gently, and like less of a psychopath, she settled it into place.
Three hours. She glared at the bay window. It was full dark outside now, but how was she supposed to sneak by a crew of freaking panthers who heard and saw everything? She couldn’t even go to the stupid communal bathroom without being watched.
She wanted to see him. There it was. She was really tempted to do this, and damn the consequences because it was Jaxon. Her entire body had gone fuzzy in the moment they’d locked eyes. He was important to her, and she couldn’t even think of him driving away without seeing him first.
Maybe if she just went and told him the words he needed to hear, that would be a good compromise. Sure, she was disobeying Ben, but for a good cause…right? She was getting Jaxon the-mother-freakin’-grizzly-shifter Barns out of the territory. She was basically making up for turning on her crew in the fight. Really, she was saving them all by making him go. Or something.
But before she went, maybe she should put on some make-up and straighten her hair while she mulled over what she would say to Sexy Giant Jaxon…if she actually found the courage to do this. And maybe she should brush her teeth and smear on a second helping of deodorant to mask the scent of fur. And maybe put on cuter panties, too. Just in case.
Hmm, maybe she should call Samuel and ask him what she should do. No. This was her life now, her decision. Plus, she knew what Samuel would say, and she wanted to look at Jaxon’s McHotboy face. Beard. He had a great beard. It was one of those four-day, perfectly trimmed, beautiful-man beards that made her think pervy thoughts about what kind of scratchy sensation it would cause against her sensitive inner thighs. Since he was a grizzly shifter, he would probably be bitey in the bedroom. Oh my gosh, stop thinking about this.
That was it. There would be no changing into cuter panties because she needed the giant granny panties to keep her pants on. Because there was no way in hell she was going to expose her purple polka-dotted comfies to any man as sexy as Jaxon Barns. These comfy cottons were her chastity belt. They would keep her on track to say what she needed to say and keep his beautiful-man beard from tickling her inner thighs.
Feeling like goddamn Wonder Woman, she slathered on powder fresh deodorant like a boss, plumped her lips with colorless Chap Stick, and pulled her thick brunette hair back in a let’s-get-shit-done bun. She looked like a proud mess. Jaxon definitely wouldn’t get handsy with her like this.
And if anyone stopped her, she could just say, “Look, asshole, I’m going to save all our lives, so outta my way. I have hero shit to do.”
Emboldened with her terrible plan, she marched out of the cabin, looked around the empty clearing, waited a couple seconds to get caught, shrugged, and made her way to the tree line. At least She-Devil improved her night vision significantly. It wasn’t even that hard to find the rotted wooden fence in the dark, or the hole with the deer trail. Up, up she climbed the path until she couldn’t see the lights from the cabins behind her. Brush tripped her up time and time again, but she was determined, and the scratches on her bare legs where her shorts didn’t cover would heal soon. Another advantage to She-Devil. She might want to kill every living thing around her like a little hairy serial killer, but she healed fast.