He inhaled, the lines of his face ironing out. I know Im not what you want, I know that. I know my loves not good enough. I know Im not good enough, he paused, digging his tongue into his cheek. Regardless, thats the way I feel and I needed you to know. Im sorry. His apology was sincere, free of the usual Patrick undertone. Il see you out there. Releasing his hand from my mouth, he turned to leave me drowning in the sea of coats and recent revelations.
Why are you tel ing me this? I whispered, deflated.
He stopped mid-step, turning back to me. Would you have believed me if I said it after we were Betrothed?
I had nothing but silence as an answer for him.
Precisely my point, he said, gesturing at me in answer. Youd say it was contrived . . . forced. Wel , now you know.
What about Sierra? I asked, sure I wasnt hearing this right. I thought you guys had something going on.
Shes like gasoline to my fire, he said, shaking his head. She a great girl, but I need someone who can douse water on me and calm the fire, not enflame it even more.
Patrick,”there was no gentle way to put this”I love Wil iam. Theres nothing I, him, or you can do to change that.
Dont you think I bloody wel know that? he said, his voice tight. Im not asking you to stop loving Wil iam and fal in love with me. I couldnt do that to him and I wouldnt do that to you.
So what am I suppose to do with this newfound knowledge? I cried. I realize the majority of Immortality had been confounding for me, but this was the clincher. How could Patrick loving me while I loved Wil iam result in a happy ending?
Ive got a plan, he said careful y.
If I had a wish granted for every time you said that and your ˜plan went haywire, Id be the luckiest woman in the world instead of the current unluckiest.
Dont make me have to take necessary force with you to make you be quiet again, he said. Because despite my history of plan failure, this one Im fairly certain youl be on board with.
I crossed my arms. Since I know refusing is pointless, Im al ears.
If we are Betrothed and, whether you want to admit it to yourself or not, we both know its more than likely given Wil iams and your past attempts at happily ever after, Il request a transfer. Somewhere far away from the Council and our Al iance. Some place where wel be nothing but exceedingly good looking foreigners. While there was never an opportune time for Patricks teasing, this was no time. Ive got enough seniority and experience the Council wil pretty much grant me any transfer request.
How is moving halfway around the world a good plan for our bad situation? The thought of leaving behind Wil iam and his family with no one other than Patrick in tow was something even my cruelest thoughts wouldnt conceive of.
Patrick squeezed the bridge of his nose. If youd shut up for two seconds and let me finish my thoughts, youd find out.
Im sorry, Patrick, I am. Im sorry you think were going to be Betrothed and Im sorry you love me and Im sorry I dont love you back, I shouted, biting at my lip. But al Ive ever wanted was Wil iam. I want to be with him, not you. And youre tel ing me were going to pack up and move away from him, meaning Wil iam and I wil not be together, and youre expecting me to stay quiet about it?
You and Wil iam will be together, he said, not reciprocating my agitation.
I was obviously missing something. Come again?
He sighed, folding his hands into his white tuxedos pockets. Only Patrick would have the confidence to pick a white tux and actual y pul it off.
You heard me. Wil iam and you can be together. Together, together”if you catch my drift. The sky-high position of his brows and impish smile clarified. I wont touch you, save for maybe clamping my hand over your mouth when you wont see reason and maybe swatting your butt with a dishrag from time to time.
Thanks for tel ing me you wont touch me, since thats completely your choice to make, I said, scowling at him. But in case you decided to change your mind, Ive got this handy little unwanted male touch device that zaps whoevers dumb enough to try.
Patrick laughed a few notes, clearly not impressed. Your death threats are ever so inspiring, but if you could rein in the venom and sarcasm for a second or two, what I said might set in.
A few seconds ticked by where neither one of us spoke before Patrick said, Get it yet?
Get what?
You wil be United, with me . . . Patrick said, leaning towards me.
Gross. How does you and I being”I coughed” united hold up on your bargain of not touching me because I can guarantee you if you even try to” You always get so concerned with the unimportant details, you miss the big picture. Kiss, he said, leaning closer.
What? I shouted, lunging backwards.
Keep it simple stupid. Kiss, he explained, shrugging.
There is nothing simple about this. I looked at him. Stupid.
He grinned at my term of endearment. Try this simple on for size. Being United, everyone wil expect your eyes to change to sapphire.
I felt nauseous. And?
No one wil need to know who was the responsible for the change, he said. Its not like the name of who deflowered you is tattooed on your irises for the Council to read.
What . . . I whispered, letting what hed just said sink in. Are you saying what I think you are?
If it involves you and Wil iam getting it on while I lie alone crying myself to sleep every night, then yes.
This was too much information to take in within ten minutes time. Everything had changed between Patrick and me and I wasnt sure if we could ever get back to where wed been. But what about you?
Il be alright. I always am, he shrugged it off, but I could see he was touched by my concern. Unfortunately, Id been concerned about something else.