My soul that shouldn’t exist reaches out, and I know what it means when his touches mine. I realize very quickly this is a lot more than just some quick and hot sex.
Instead of some candle flickering, fire blazes around the room, but he doesn’t stop. If anything, his rhythm gets rougher, and I smile against his shoulder as I wrap my arms around his neck, bringing my lips close to his ear.
“I love you too,” I whisper.
A groan escapes him when the words seem to end the fun part very abruptly, and his hips still against me before I can find the second orgasm.
But I don’t need it.
Tears cloud my eyes as I cling to him, and he shudders against me as I wrap myself around him more.
They’ve gone in order.
One. Two. Three.
I first saw them in the order they’d fall in love with me?
Is that the method to the madness?
Could I have known them well enough to have prepared for that, even if they wouldn’t remember me and are notably different, according to Lamar?
His breaths are shaky as he holds me closer, but after the miserable worry and panic I’ve endured for two days, I can’t help but let the tears fall during this one really good moment.
I won’t take a second of the good for granted from here on out. It could be the last few weeks I’m alive.
At the end of the day, I’ll do anything to ensure they live. Even if they love me, it’s not the epic love it once was.
If I die, they won’t be lost in torment the way they were before.
They’ll live.
Regardless of whether I did this to save the world or not, one thing I do know is that the tradeoff was them having a chance to go on…even if it’s without me.
This is the moment where I finally realize, with no hesitance and pure certainty, what I need to do. Unfortunately, it means leaving them alone after assuring them they’d never get to be alone ever again.
Chapter 14
JUDE
“Unicorns! Oh, evil unicorns! Come out, come out wherever you are!” Paca calls into the dark forest that makes my skin crawl.
Every sound has us whirling around, hackles raised, while The Apocalypse skips and frolics through the wiggling-fingers as though this is a picnic outing.
I’m not sure how this became my life so suddenly.
“I expected her to struggle a little more with the torture chambers than she did,” Gage states in an unimpressed tone. “Considering we were tortured there for centuries and still suffer those nightmares and all.”
“She feigned indifference there,” Kai says as though he suddenly knows her better than the rest of us. “She’s trying to prove she can be a good girl—well, good by our standard, that is.”
He and Paca have been noticeably closer since we left them alone to go do some research yesterday. They were naked and coiled around each other, while steadfast asleep, when we finally returned.
Manella has our old journals as part of his private library collection. We couldn’t even wake them up enough to tell them about it, because they were clearly exhausted, and it wasn’t hard to tell why, considering the new furnishings had been set ablaze once more.
Unbelievable.
Paca hasn’t even checked on my non-existent wound.
In fact…she’s not really paid me much attention at all since I came to.
Scrubbing a hand over my face, I shoot a glare to the back of Kai’s head when she runs up and grabs his hand, excitedly tugging him toward what is possibly the darkest, craziest section of the dark forest.
“She likes this more than I was expecting,” Ezekiel states flatly as he crosses his arms over his chest. “Why is Kai getting special treatment? I should be her favorite right now.”
“You think they did that thing you two did with her?” I ask as I narrow my eyes more in suspicion, gesturing between him and Gage.
One of the creepy trees leans over, handing Paca a flower as though it’s showing respect, and Gage snorts as she takes it and thanks the fucking tree.
“If he did do that love confession thing, then he’s definitely the favorite for now,” Ezekiel concludes on a disgruntled sigh.
Kai is grinning like he’s winning something as he squeezes her ass, carelessly turning his back on the live trees that will rip you to shreds. They don’t attempt any funny business with her royal highness, the favored and unpredictable hell-spawn, hanging out nearby, though.
My breath rushes out in surprise as a fireball zips by my head, and a loud roar sounds from behind me as a few more fireballs zip by.
I whirl around, along with Ezekiel and Gage, in time to see a massive centaur drop to the ground. A plume of ash shoots through the air when the dead weight hits with a heavy thump that shakes the ground.
I release a shuddering breath, because I didn’t know anything had even crept up on us.
Paca comes running up, holding Kai’s hand as though this is date night, as she smiles over at us.
The centaur groans and whines on the ground, holes punched through its body from Paca’s fireballs, as it slowly dies.
“Watch this!” Paca says as I take a large step away from the centaur.
We’ve only tried fighting one of those once, and we were grateful the forest faded before it got its second wind, because we used a lot of our energy…and got nowhere. She took it down in less than a few seconds.
“Seriously, watch,” Paca says, regaining our attention as she smiles and eats the flower.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Ezekiel gripes as she goes phantom, changes into some ridiculous red-overalls, a matching hat, and a white T-shirt.
Then she turns whole again…
“I ate a flower and now I’m fireball Mario. Get it?” she asks as she holds her palm up and shoots a few more fireballs into the centaur to kill it when it tries to bite Gage with its fangs.
I don’t get it, because I’m not obsessed with video games.
Gage sighs and palms his face, shaking his head.
Ezekiel struggles not to smile.
Kai is all grins like he’s proud to stand at her side.
I’ve got a migraine.
The centaur bursts into ashes suddenly, and the forest wavers.
“No! I haven’t gotten to see a unicorn yet!” Paca gripes as she glances around at the frozen black tundra that takes its place.
“What if you killed the last one?” she asks as she turns an accusing look toward me.
I stalk off, because I’m seconds away from throwing her over my shoulder and putting something in her mouth to shut her the hell up, before she drives me insane.
All that power…trapped inside one really absurd woman.
A really ridiculous woman who stayed at my side, exhausted, worried, and barely holding her shit together, while I was downed by our enemy. I was downed too easily.
Her thin thread of sanity hinges on us, and we have to catch up to her level somehow. We can’t afford so many distractions, and her lack of concern for how terrifyingly powerful this place is…is…insanely emasculating.
Spinning my scythe, I ignore her as she hums something different than the usual Mario tune.
“What are you humming?” Kai asks with interest, like the suck up he is today.
Paca almost knocks me over as she zips by, shooting fireballs from her hands and jumping up and down without bending her knees.
She takes out some weird hanging plant things that have some vicious teeth.
“It’s the underground music Mario gets when he travels through a pipe to the darker underbelly portions of the game,” she explains as though it’s crucial information, as she whirls around and actually spits out some fireballs.
“Her recent upgrade worries me a little,” Gage states with zero emotion, while Paca continues to playfully kill off fearsome beasts from Hell’s Black Heart.
“I remember a time when she struggled with the Blind Tribe. It wasn’t that damn long ago,” Ezekiel notes as he studies her.
We’ve painfully and exhaustingly fought against some of these beasts a single fireball from her takes down.
“Where’s the flag pole?” she crows, fist-pumping the air as the last of the fifty-ish beasts collapses beside her.
“That took two minutes,” Kai says as though he’s getting turned on, his lips only curving higher in a stupid smile I want to punch off his face.
“Manella’s theory is that we can power up faster if we unite our powers and synchronize our attacks with some sort of specialized strike. He fell asleep before he could finish explaining. Anyway, we can’t do that if our girlfriend is going to hog all the expendable monsters so that she can role play a nineties video game,” I say very loudly, as Paca rocks back on her heels, whistling as her eyes look anywhere but at me.
“My bad,” she finally chirps, not sounding the least bit sincere. “For the record, Mario is still relevant to this day,” she adds as she turns and goes phantom.
Her outfit changes into some frilly maid costume, and Kai trips over his own feet, as his mouth actually pops open.
“Close your mouth and have some dignity. It’s just one of many sexy outfits she’s—”
My words die, and I throw my hands up in disbelief when he practically tackles her, lifting her off the ground as his hands slide up to her ass. He kisses her like we’re not standing in the most dangerous place in fucking Hell.
“This isn’t Disney Land!” I remind them. “There is a lot of fucking danger—”
Without even looking, Paca releases her chakrams, and I suck in a breath as they split, flying through the two gaps between our three bodies. Whirling around, I spot thirty-ish four-headed beasts, and the chakrams attack them one after another, as though they’ve been preprogrammed for this battle.
I watch as the chakrams finish downing the beasts, and they zip by us on the way back to her awaiting hands. She breaks the kiss with Kai to blow the smoke off them, and she winks over at us.
Kai turns, grinning over his shoulder toward us, as Gage and Ezekiel glare back at him.
“You did the love thing, didn’t you?” Ezekiel asks as his hands go to his hips, a disapproving scowl etching his features. “You couldn’t have let me be the favorite for a while longer?”
“Why is that important right now?” I groan, pinching the bridge of my nose.
“The love thing? Could you please not steal all the romance from those soul-touching moments?” Paca asks in a dry tone.
I glance around, wondering if she realizes this is the motherfucking Black Heart. It unnerves me how gravely she can lower the bar for what’s considered ‘romance.’
“Ideal setting for a makeout session and this pointless conversation,” I tell them with a smartass smile and a thumb’s up.
Paca loses interest in us when Kai whispers something against her ear that makes her smile so wide it has to hurt.
“Unbelievable. I got her for a minute before she went to battle and then got stuck tending Jude. Leave it to Kai, that fucker, to steal my time in the spotlight before I even get to savor it,” Ezekiel grumbles as he stalks toward them.