“Explain,” Jude says to him. “I’m sick of walking into a scenario where we’re the only ones to not know what’s going on. The games end now.”
Lamar’s eyes meet mine, as though he’s considering it, and he finally releases a reluctant, defeated breath.
“You proved to them you truly have no idea who you were, and that the memories are certainly gone. You’re terrible at deception. You never once suspected an illusion,” Lamar tells me.
“So glad I passed that test,” I say through a fuck-you and go-to-hell smile, coating the words with as much insulting sarcasm as one can.
“He hurt you too easily, and you’d never have allowed that,” he goes on. “Nor would you have allowed yourself to be separated from them to begin with. Rafael may finally have to fall after all this.”
“Does that mean he’ll be down here with me?” I ask conversationally, hoping the answer is yes.
“I don’t know. I’m not really sure what happens to fallen angels, aside from Lucifer,” he answers. “But I do know why they want to see you. It’s become clear you’re no longer an option for the pure plan. The only thing left is the impure one.”
I glance at Ezekiel, but he’s still staring at Lamar.
“Just fucking tell us in small, literal, detailed, and easily understood words what the hell they want from us,” Gage growls as he takes a threatening step toward Lamar.
Lamar smiles grimly. “I thought it’d be obvious by now,” he says in that annoying way of his. “They want you to be The Four Horsemen and The Apocalypse. They need you to do what you were designed to do, because the time has come.”
No one really says anything for a second, but I finally release a humorless laugh that borders on hysteria as I turn phantom and zap myself off the bed.
I turn whole a few feet away from him.
“I’m about to be The Apocalypse right this very second,” I caution him.
He swallows thickly and gives one curt nod.
It’s a bluff. I feel just as miserable as I did that night I spent on the bathroom floor after my first experience with Harold’s liquor, so I don’t have that sort of power inside me at the moment.
“You’ve wanted answers, Paca. You have to know that everything Lucifer has done up until this point has been to protect you and hell. Passing the test means you finally win the argument you fought for five hundred years ago.”
“I argued to blow up the world?” I ask dubiously.
I know I’m not that kind of horrible. It goes against everything that I do know about myself. I only kill when necessary or for balance—according to my journal. I never kill just for funsies.
“Not quite. It’s more complicated than that,” he says uneasily. “I’m afraid it’s more complicated than I can explain. You came for answers. Stop arguing you’re way out of them just because you got hurt. You’re tougher than that.”
His pep talks usually involve more ass kissing. I prefer that version of him.
“Fine,” I say curtly, going phantom.
His eyes dart around like he’s looking for me, as I change my outfit, collecting an exasperated curse from Gage just before I go whole and reveal my newest ensemble.
Lamar’s eyebrows hit his hairline as he looks at me.
“What on earth are you wearing?”
“Something insensitive and rude to distract them just before we unleash hell and set them all on fire,” I say with a firm nod of my head, expecting the guys to reel me in and tell me I’m insane. “After we hear whatever glorious excuse they have for all these damn games, of course.”
I glance around when no one does the predictable Paca-is-crazy tirade. Even Jude is quiet.
Lamar looks a little queasy.
“Sounds like a plan,” Kai says with a shrug as he walks over to Lamar. “Lead the way. Let’s see if we like what we hear or not.”
For the first time, it feels like we’re a true unit.
Simply because I can’t believe they’re going along with me, I have to ask, “Just so we’re clear…we’re going to walk in, fuck shit up, and walk out like the evil bosses we are, right?”
Jude shrugs a shoulder as he smirks. Kai gives me a devilish little grin.
“Depends on what they say,” Ezekiel tells me in a noncommittal sort of way, as Gage gives his sword a bored look.
“Fuck my day,” Lamar says with a tired expression as he turns and leads the way.
Chapter 11
The doors fly open dramatically without me actually asking for it to be done, and they clang on either wall as the six of us strut in. I almost want to do a hands-on-hips superhero pose.
If only I had a cape…
Lamar flanks to my right, moving toward the corner, as we walk to the long table full of my siblings and the haggard angels.
Rafael doesn’t meet my eyes. It seems we’re interrupting a conversation between him and Lucifer.
We remain standing instead of taking the five vacant seats.
“He must fall. Then Paca and her Horsemen will level the world. After that, you seal up your home, and I’ll seal up mine. It can have whatever remains. It won’t gather the strength it needs,” the Devil says, his eyes cutting to another angel.
“She still has unimaginable power. We felt it the same as you did. It just needs to be strengthened down here for a few months, and she could spare us all of this,” that angel argues.
This…is not the argument I expected. In fact, I’m not sure what this argument even is. It’s stealing some of my kick-ass-and-take-names vibe.
“She’s not designed for that. For the last fucking time, she never was!” Lucifer shouts, slamming his fist down on the stone table so hard it cracks. “You can’t change the game at the final stage!”
“It’s not a game, Lucifer!” one of the angels states emphatically.
“It’s all a game!” Lucifer says in a somewhat crazed tone.
Hera swirls her chalice and takes a sip. The Twins flick a triangle piece of plastic through finger-posed football goals. Manella is asleep. Cain is rolling dice and cursing the snake eyes. Lilith is rifling through her purse, pulling out rocks that turn to liquid. The liquid starts turning into little figurines of clay men.
Shaking my head and turning away from the distraction, I return my attention to the vehement argument still underway.
“She’s simply not capable at this point. Never was,” Lucifer is saying.
“Because she shared her balance with them,” Rafael snarls, pointing an accusatory finger at my guys.
I guess that means they’ve noticed us and find us to be a tedious detail in the grand scheme of things. I prefer to feel important when people are toying with me and erecting ridiculous expectations.
I’m not even sure what ridiculous expectations are being placed on my shoulders, but it’s sort of the gist of the argument going on.
“It doesn’t matter what she did, because she didn’t compromise the integrity of her balance. She never has! You killed her and tipped the balance.”
“It would have shattered had I not been right!” Rafael shouts as he leaps to his feet, breathing heavily…but his anger visibly starts to deflate.
He blinks and clears his throat before sagging back to his chair.
“No. It’s because of all she did to bring them and herself back that the balance didn’t fully shatter,” Lucifer says on a snarl, then he smirks like he’s won when Rafael says nothing in return.
“Why was I killed?” I ask, cutting in with a direct question.
Lucifer starts to answer, but I’m sick of his circling commentary that never really leaves me feeling like I’ve learned truthful information. Instead, I look at one of the angels, who is staring at me with a horrified expression.
I think it’s the first time I’ve been truly noticed since our badass entrance went ignored.
Well, all the angels, sans Rafael, are staring at me like they’re horrified now.
“I’ll hear it from the good guys who aren’t supposed to be able to tell lies. Though…clearly that manipulation rule is up for grabs,” I go on.
They just continue to gape at me.
Lilith gives me a dramatic roll of her eyes.
“Suuuure. She puts on a sexy angel costume and that’s attention-grabbing. So immature.” She shakes her head, muttering under her breath, “I’d look better in it.”
She forgot to mention the red horns on my head that are holding up the fuzzy white halo. I smirk when they continue to gape.
It’s rude to be so impure in front of the pure, but these guys did kill me and helped torture me recently.
My heart and body are both still sore, so the memory is still really fresh. It grates on that petty impurity of mine.
“Someone should start answering,” Cain says, leaning up. “She’s got that crazy look in her eyes, and they’ll follow her lead. You’ve spent too long pissing them off.”
Cain is officially my new favorite sibling.
I recant that when he reaches down and scratches his balls with a firm look of concentration on his face. Man, with the effort he’s putting into that, they must really itch…
I just threw up in my mouth.
“Just over five centuries ago,” the angel closest to me starts on a huff, eyes averting my distracting ensemble that is sheer and very indiscreet, “our champion faced Jahl.”
There’s the bubble popping in the background again, shattering that suspenseful build that’s been steadily growing.
“What does that have to do with me?” I ask, not letting on that I don’t know this Jahl person.
“Our champion lost,” Rafael says quietly, still staring down at the table. “It should have been impossible. He was the perfect counter balance to Jahl, but still, he lost. And Jahl almost got loose into the world.”
“Who is Jahl?” I finally have to ask.
No one looks thrilled about me needing to know.
“It’s not a who but a what. The child I never had after I was refused the right to use my blood,” Lucifer states, eyes on me. “It would have been my first. It was created to catch the impurities that escaped to keep all of it from spilling into the world. Hell is messier than a place of pure intent. We have more spills.”
He stands, electing to sit on the edge of the table, presumably so he can see me better before he continues.
“It was a failed creation from the beginning. Without my blood, Jahl never grew into a true being. It could mimic emotion but not feel it, and it was pure, unadulterated evil when the shaky balance of it collapsed in a short amount of time. There was nothing to do but lock it away until a champion could be trained.”
Glancing around, I notice no one even bothers to react to his words, my guys included. I guess they’re all just glossing right over the fact the Devil just called something else pure, unadulterated evil like it’s a bad thing. Not terrifying or anything. Got it.