Logical? No. Brilliant? Yes, yes, and yes.
“You can do all that?” I was shocked. I hadn’t even considered the land—and there was an enormous amount.
“I have a few friends that enjoy acquiring properties. Do you care if they get a very good deal?” Junior questioned as his fingers flew over the keyboard faster than I’d ever seen anyone type.
“No, as long as they’re your friends, undervalue the shit out of it and sell,” I told him as I pulled a chair over to the desk and sat next to him.
“Do you mind me asking who exactly we’re doing this to?” Junior gave me a goofy grin and waited.
“My father, the Dragon King.”
“Holy shee-ot,” Junior yelled gleefully. “This is gonna be fun. That mother humper has so much blood on his hands it ain’t right. What are we doin’ with the money? You want me to lock it up in an untraceable trust for you and Daniel? I can do it offshore and I’ll lock that sucker up so tight no one will ever find it.”
“No. I don’t want any of it,” I said with a shudder. It was filthy money and I wanted nothing from my father. Ever.
“I thought Dragons like to have huge hoards,” Dwayne chimed in. “You could have a massive hoard with all that money.”
“A Dragon’s hoard consists of what is most important to him or her. I have money. I made it legally and I’ve invested it well over the years. It’s not important to me other than for the fact I can take care of my son. The only thing of importance in my life is Daniel. He’s my hoard,” I said simply. No riches could replace my child.
“Damn to hell in a hand basket, I think I’m crying,” Junior said as he wiped a tear from his eye. “My momma feels the same way about Hank and me. Your boy is lucky, Dima.”
“Thanks Junior,” I replied and handed him a tissue.
“So what exactly am I gonna do with the tens of millions I’m about to procure?” he asked as he dabbed delicately at his eyes and then blew his nose like trumpet.
“It’s hundreds of billions,” I corrected him as his smile grew wider with delight. “And I want every last cent of it to go to charity. Can you donate anonymously? I want no trace back to my father or any of us.”
“Can do. Will do. Junior can hack apart a small country. This’ll be a breeze. It’ll take a week or two ̓cause I’m gonna have to have a little help here and there. And if you have any passwords or account numbers, I’d be much obliged,” he said as he rubbed his hands together in excitement.
“Do you always talk about yourself in third person?” I asked as I squinted my eyes at him and grinned.
“Yes, I do. Goddangit, do you think that might be part of my problem with Sandy?” Junior asked very seriously.
He had it really bad for this Sandy.
“Well, it might be better to lose that habit,” I offered diplomatically. “Why don’t you ask her questions about herself? That might get her talking.”
“I don’t need to,” he replied with a self-satisfied smirk.
“And that would be because…?” Essie cut in with a grimace on her lovely face.
“I got her under surveillance,” Junior replied with pride. “I know every move my darlin’ gal makes.”
“That’s creepy,” Dwayne said with a shudder. “Please tell me you didn’t hide cameras in her bathroom.”
“Only one,” Junior admitted. “It’s aimed at the shower. I’m not a total jackhole.”
At this point, that was debatable as far as I was concerned.
“Junior, that doesn’t fly and if she finds out, you’ll lose her for good.” Hank’s grunt of disgust was echoed around the room.
“What in the dang hell are you talkin’ about?” Junior demanded, starting to freak out that he’d screwed up. “You stalked Essie in Chicago for a full year. I was takin’ my cue from you, bro-bro.”
“Stalking someone and filming them are two totally different things,” Hank argued. “I didn’t watch her eat her cereal in the morning.”
“Excuse me? I call bullshit on that one,” Dwayne reminded Hank with raised brows and pursed lips.
“Fine,” Hank groused. “It was only once or twice and I was hiding in the tree outside the kitchen window.”
Oh my God, Werewolves were more insane than Dragons.
“I think that’s kind of hot,” Essie admitted with a shrug and a wink at Hank. “So here’s the deal Junior, you can spy on Sandy in person, but you have to get the damn cameras out of her house.”
“What about her car, the yoga studio, the grocery store, the library where she heads up the book club, the park where she runs, the hair salon and her dad’s church?”
We were all stunned to silence—even Dwayne.
“Get rid of all that shit,” Hank growled. “You’ve lost your damn mind, man.”
“I love her,” Junior whispered and scrubbed his hand over his face. “I don’t want anything to happen to her. Sandy won’t let me protect her, so I figured out a way to watch over her and keep her safe.”
It was creepy, but it was also very clear that the poor sap was head over heels in love with her. He just had an unusual way of showing it.
“Can I re-suggest simply asking her questions about herself or maybe you should take up yoga or possibly running. Find out when she does her activities and make sure you do yours at the same time,” I said, praying to end this conversation in Sandy’s favor.