However long it takes to finish up my training, find Immortal nirvana, find a cure for cancer, fix the hole in the ozone layer, and fal out of love with you. He sighed. Could take an eternity. Good thing thats what Ive got.
I know its selfish to ask you to stay, so I wont, but that doesnt mean Im not going to miss a good friend like crazy.
Friend, he repeated, like it was a curse. Friend. This time when I pul ed back from him, he let me go. I never thought Id hate that word so much, but if thats al I can have of you, Il take it.
He extended his hand, his shoulders stiff. So long, friend.
My brows squeezed in confusion. Youre leaving now? Like right now?
He shrugged his answer.
Cant you at least wait until after the Betrothal Bal ? I felt the emotion catching in my throat again, realizing Paul Lowe could be walking out of my life the next moment for goodness only knows how long.
I dont think so, he replied, guarded.
Please, Paul. Stay and have a good time, the world wil stil be there in two days waiting for you. I wanted to grab his hands in mine and squeeze them until he promised hed stay, but lines that were already blurred from Pauls point of view were crossed whenever I initiated a touch with him. No matter the innocence of it, he was an optimist in the worst kind of way for a girl who wanted nothing more than friendship.
I cant, he whispered, hanging his head.
Yes, you can. Please? I didnt care, I was begging now.
He stayed silent, contemplating, so I went in for the kil . Please stay. For me?
His eyes closed. I cant, Bryn. Please dont ask me again to stay around to watch you Betrothed to another man, because theres nothing I wouldnt do for you, including staying behind if thats what you real y wanted. So dont ask me again unless thats what you real y, real y, really want, because I wil , but it wil break every last friggin piece of my heart that isnt shattered quite yet. One side of his mouth curved up in a contrived smile as he stared me straight on, waiting for my answer.
Have a safe trip, I whispered, letting him go, knowing deep in my heart it was the right thing to do. Il miss you. I leaned in for one more hug that was reciprocated with such rawness from Paul my words were choked at the source. I was tired of good-byes. There was no good reason to vocalize it anyways; it was heavy in every inch of our embrace.
Thank you, he said, letting out a sigh that surpassed relief. Putting his hands on my shoulders, he broke us free of our embrace looking like the most tortured creature Id ever seen. Youve got a man to get back to. Tel him he better take care of the woman we love or else Il happily resurface from whatever remote corner of the universe the Council intends on sending me just so I can kick his perfect little ass.
I laughed, no lightness in it. Im sure that wil go over wel .
Giving me a final smile, he headed towards the slider door leading off the kitchen. Sliding it open, a gust of cool November air forced its way into the house, giving me a chil despite the Immortality perk to sunny and seventy forever. I knew he was going to say something else, Paul and I had shared enough life experience together for me to know that, I just wasnt sure what the nature of it would be.
When his face turned ful -on to mine with a grin starring in his impish expression, I knew we were past the heavy. Just in case youre looking for any male opinions as to honeymoon lingerie . . . he trailed on, his eyebrows doing an al out peak, that little bra and panty number you just modeled for me is bangin. His smile slid up higher to dimple ignition. Pun absolutely intended. See ya around, Bryn, he said, throwing himself out the door the next instant, leaving me behind with the chil night air and an ocean of guilt.
See you around, Paul, I whispered to no one.
CHAPTER THREE
A STALL FOR TWO
Id bul eted out of Joseph and Coras so quick you would have thought John Townsend had sicked every last one of his thugs on me. After Paul left, the house felt empty, hol ow, and a part of me did, too.
Not because I doubted my devotion to Wil iam, but because the feelings Paul had for me were stil very real and significant. Id blanketed myself with the warm fuzzy that, after Paul saw me back together with Wil iam, and once he became enamored by the al -too-impressive single women in our Al iance, Id be a distant memory.
That had been the easy way to look at it, but life was never easy.
The only thing I wanted to do was run straight into Wil iams arms and stay there until the cocktail of pain, hurt, and guilt I felt had been washed away. I was lucky enough I had someone to comfort me, but who did Paul have? He was hurting just as badly, if not worse, than I was and the person whose arms he wanted to have comfort him was running in the opposite direction of him to find solace in another mans arms.
How had I managed to make such a mess of things with Paul? Just thinking about al the wrong turns Id made with him brought on a new wave of tears, but the emotional overload couldnt have hit at a better time.
The barn was a few yards away and would be a welcome hide-out to recompose myself before I made my way back to Wil iam, who Id already left waiting too long on this should-have-been magical night . . . and darn it if I hadnt forgotten the dress that, if I hadnt gone searching for it in the first place, I wouldnt be feeling the way I was now.
If I wasnt convinced already, dresses were the devil.
Id promised to return as radiant as Bryn-possible and had returned a hot mess sporting mens pajamas and puffy red-rimmed eyes.
I grabbed a few apples from the barrel and made my way down to a stable that was the horse equivalent of the corner office. Wil iam indulged the fil y, almost as much as he did me, so much so shed turned her nose up if someone had the audacity to offer her an apple with even the smal est of bruises.